Page 10 of Courting Clemson

“Have you tried meeting people just to be disappointed? Left wanting more? A real connection?”

Man, whoever designed this landing page knew how to hook a guy, that was for sure.

I clicked on the drop-down menu and my screen went black. Okay, not what I was expecting. After a few seconds, a montage of images scrolled by. Gorgeous woman after gorgeous woman, every color, shape, size, and age drifted in and out of focus.

What the hell is this? Maybe a call girl service…

The last thing I needed was to get mixed up with something illegal. I just landed this great position at a firm I basically never thought I’d advance in. On the other hand, this was my personal phone, so what would be the harm in just looking at what this service was all about?

Why couldn’t I be like other guys my age? Just let down my guard and cut loose a bit? Instead, I always had these damn inner debates where I talked myself out of anything that resembled fun.

So I kept scrolling and clicking through the site. Indeed, the company was some version of a call-girl service barely disguised as a dating service. Dating services weren’t illegal, but let’s call a spade a spade here.

There was no denying the women listed were stunning. At least four of them appealed to me in all the ways I’d want a woman to appeal to me.

My friends always teased me that I had too high of expectations when dating, but I saw it differently. I was at an age where I was looking for a lifelong mate. I’d had plenty of meaningless hookups at this point, and now I wanted to find a wife.

I finished my dinner and cleaned up the takeout trash and lone fork I’d used. No wonder my dishwasher was never full. It took a long time to compile a full load when I was chipping away at the goal one fork at a time.

Looking at that dating site really got me down. I felt like a lecherous loser even considering paying for a service like that, regardless of the professional presentation they’d managed to create. It still felt like prostitution in my gut, and that wasn’t something I wanted to take part in.

Who knew how they really treated those women, if they paid them fairly, and what the women themselves had to go through to put themselves in that position?

Yeah, I’d stick with the good old-fashioned meet-a-girl-by-chance method. If it was meant to be, it was meant to be. Right? My whole mood soured after that.

I texted Liam and told him not to wait around for me. I wasn’t coming. Then promptly turned my phone off and crawled into bed. There would be a string of messages from the guy when I turned it back on in the morning, all making me feel worse than I already did.

I set my alarm to hit the gym first thing before heading to the shelter. If I didn’t get a workout in early, I usually didn’t do it at all. The shelter shift I had scheduled started at nine, so I’d still get plenty of sleep.

Routinely, I volunteered at the local no-kill animal shelter near my home. I loved it all. Walking the dogs, brushing the cats, all of it! If I could just interact with animals all day every day, I’d be a happy man. Maybe I should’ve been a veterinarian instead of a marketing genius.

The shelter’s director had emailed me earlier in the week to ask if I could handle a group of volunteers from the local college, and I’d agreed. At least I wouldn’t be cleaning cages on my own.

On my own. Alone. The theme was getting a little too thick in my life. I fell asleep feeling sorry for myself and tried to think of new places I could go to meet people. Once my brain turned off, though, I didn’t move an inch the rest of the night.

When my alarm went off in the morning, I was refreshed and ready to take on the day. My attitude had improved with sleep as well. I’m sure the increased length of time spent away from work helped too.

Usually, by Sunday afternoon, I was just finding my groove again as a vital, ambitious young man…only to realize Monday was right around the corner, and I’d get beat down all over again. Something had to change. I couldn’t keep living in this pattern.

With those desperate feelings, I set off for the gym. I decided to walk since it was less than a mile from my penthouse, and the shelter wasn’t far beyond that. The weather was perfect, and the moment the morning sunshine hit my face, I felt a sense of renewal.

Today was going to be a great day. I had to keep repeating it to myself so the negative thoughts wouldn’t seep in through the cracks. It was a technique that usually worked, and by the time I hit the weight circuit at my gym, I genuinely felt good.

Now if I could just carry this feeling through the day, I’d be set.

Chapter Four

Clemson

“Oh my God, my head,” Grace moaned from beneath a blanket. She was curled up on the sofa, and it looked like she’d spent the entire night there.

“You okay?” I asked from the kitchen where I prepared the ingredients for a protein shake. I started every day the same way, so I went through the motions on autopilot. “Why are you sleeping out here?”

“A couple of the girls spent the night. Just too tired when we got back from the party, so I told them they could crash here. They’re in my bed, and I camped out here. Holy shit, my head feels like I got hit with a bat.”

“Here, I’ll get you some aspirin,” I offered, shifting into caretaker mode with ease. “Do you have water?”

“You don’t have to do that. I can get up. I did this to myself. I deserve the agony.” She whimpered while still clutching her skull.

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