Page 74 of Courting Clemson

“It was a business arrangement, Luke. That’s how I saw it, anyway. We both got something out of the deal, and the terms were agreed upon from the start. It was clean and clear and had a definite ending.” I couldn’t miss the defensiveness in my voice.

“And is it over? With him, I mean?”

I felt my temper spark up a bit. “Did you come here today to give me the third degree?” I asked, hands perched on my hips.

“No. Not really. But seeing you again brings up a lot of unresolved feelings and unanswered questions. I felt like I got played. Do you understand that?”

I nodded. “I do. In a way, at least. I apologized for hurting you. I knew I wasn’t being upfront with you, and that was wrong. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry I destroyed what we had. It makes me sad.”

“Yeah, I’ve been pretty sad too. Christmas sucked without you. I had all these plans in my head for how we’d spend the holidays, and instead, I sat in my empty apartment eating fucking take-out.” He shook his head while staring at the floor.

“Why did you come here today?”

“I miss you. I miss us…”

“Can you forgive me for being dishonest?” I asked hopefully. I missed him too. Way more than I wanted to admit.

“I want to try,” he said.

But was that enough? Maybe only time would tell.

“Where do we go from here?” I asked, surprising myself by taking the lead in this conversation. All I knew was I couldn’t be raked over the coals again and again. I apologized for what I did. We could either move forward or go our separate ways.

“I don’t want to lose you, Clemson. I’m in love with you,” he admitted on a rough swallow. “Please don’t hurt me like that again, okay?” He stepped closer and reached for my hand.

Placing my hand in his, I finally told him, “I love you too. And I will do my very best not to hurt you. I’m not perfect, though. I will probably make mistakes.”

“Mistakes I can handle. I love your imperfections.” He smiled and pulled me closer.

“Yeah?” I asked with a little lilt to my voice. “All this time, I thought I was damn close to perfect.”

Luke wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled our bodies together. He rested his forehead against mine and swayed a little.

“I missed you so much,” he whispered before kissing me softly.

“I missed you too. I’m sorry,” I said again, this time against his lips.

We kissed deeply until we both had needy, wild looks in our eyes. When he put space between our bodies, I actually whimpered.

“I’m going to go,” he said.

“Whaaa?” I croaked. I thought we were about to have hot make-up sex, and I was totally here for it.

“I want to take you out tonight,” he said. “Officially celebrate the new year together and a fresh start for us. We’ll leave all this crap here.” He pointed to the floor like it represented a point in time instead of a location. “In the past. New year, new us. What do you say?”

“Where do I sign up?” I grinned, and he stole another kiss before walking to the front door.

“Luke?” I called as he reached for the doorknob.

“Yeah?” He looked back over his shoulder.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

“I have a feeling you’re worth it,” he said and was out the door, leaving me standing in the middle of my tiny living room with the biggest smile ever on my face.

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