Page 67 of Courting Clemson

“So what are you doing about the event tomorrow night? Clemson can’t go. Are you skipping it all together?”

“Nah, I have to show face there. The partners will have a shit fit if I don’t at least show up for a little. I don’t need that hanging over my head right before my annual review.”

“Do you want me to try to hook you up with one of Mikala’s friends? There’s one…” He rolled his eyes back. “Dude, she’s a smoke show.”

I shook my head before he could finish. “Nah, I’ll just go alone. Won’t be the first time, right?” I frowned. The thought of spending the night alone hurt my chest when I inhaled. I really wanted Clemson on my arm at this thing.

“Well, let me know if you change your mind.” He gave me a couple of thumps on the back, and we went in opposite directions to our cars.

My mood had only gotten worse the next evening.

I gave myself a long look in the mirror inside my walk-in closet and adjusted the bowtie around my neck for the fifth time. I looked put together at least, regardless of how bummed I was inside.

I hadn’t heard from Clemson all day but was too stubborn to reach out to her myself. I wanted to give her space, if that was what she needed, all while holding on to a bit of frustration from the argument we had.

I shouldn’t have to apologize to her for opening up about my feelings.

For much of my life, my father made me feel like my feelings made me weak and less of a man. I never cried in front of him after making that mistake in my early teens. He chewed my ass and insulted me over and over until I swore to myself it would never happen again. That experience with the one man I looked up to scarred me for life, and many of those feelings I had at the time were swirling around in my gut now.

I’d worked really hard at overcoming the shame of expressing myself, and I refused to backtrack on that progress because of this situation with Clemson.

In fairness, she didn’t shame me for admitting my feelings for her. I just ended up regretting doing so because she didn’t immediately reciprocate. So really, what I was feeling now wasn’t as much shame as it was regret. I allowed myself to be vulnerable with her, and now I was hurt.

I arrived at the event alone and parked the car through the valet service at the venue. Liam had checked in with me a few times throughout the day, and I finally got him to drop the idea of fixing me up with one of his girlfriend’s friends. I didn’t want to end things with Clemson. We were just going through a bit of a rough patch.

I plastered on a smile I didn’t really feel and walked into the ballroom.

The place was stunning. I had been in this hotel for events before, and they really knew how to transform a blank space into a themed party. It looked like I was walking into a winter wonderland with icicle-inspired chandeliers and sparkling snow drifts where the walls met the floor.

Ten-person round tables were scattered around the enormous space with an elaborate ice sculpture dripping in the middle of the room. Christmas decorations filled in the smaller details and made the room looked magical.

After checking the seating chart for my name, I made my way to my assigned table. Of course, I was stopped half a dozen times on my way there to greet coworkers and clients and be introduced to rarely seen spouses.

I slipped into the seat assigned to me and greeted the people already sitting there. Half of them I knew, one couple introduced themselves as friends of one of the partners of my advertising firm, and two seats remained empty.

I scanned the room for Liam and his date and then decided to hit the bar for a cocktail. Nothing made these things more tolerable like a good stiff drink. I even slipped the bartender an extra-large tip to make the concoction as strong as possible.

As I made my way back to my table, Liam found me in the crowd. His face was red in the artificial lighting, and he grabbed my arm at the elbow, pulling me away from anyone overhearing us.

“Dude,” I said, looking down at where he was clutching my forearm. “What the hell is it?”

“Man, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I figured better me than seeing for yourself.”

He looked as close to panicked as I’d ever seen him, which was odd because Liam was one of the chilliest people I knew. No matter what the situation, the guy had an uncanny way of staying calm.

Not now, though. Something had him really worked up, so I urged him to tell me what was going on.

He ushered me off to the side of one of the hors d’oeuvres tables and out of earshot of the other guests.

“She’s here,” he blurted as if that explained everything from his odd behavior to the urgent pace of his voice.

“Who is? What are you talking about?”

“Your girl. I saw her walk in with another guy. And you’ll never guess who. Brian Landry.” He fixed his shifting eyes for a few beats, waiting for my reaction.

“Did you spark up in the parking lot?” I asked him, and it wasn’t without merit. He was known to hit a joint before stressful events like this one. He said it took the edge off and made him feel more social.

“No,” he said with a twisted frown. “Mikayla doesn’t like it when I smoke. I haven’t gotten high since the week we started dating.”

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