Page 65 of Courting Clemson

“What about you?” she said. “What do you think is really going on with him? Seems like that came out of nowhere.”

I nodded. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m glad he told me how he’s feeling. It just makes me sad. I thought things were going so well between us. He said he’s been feeling this way for a while. I don’t really know if I can give more than I’ve been, though.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I know how much you like him.” She collected our bowls and took them to the sink.

“He said he loves me,” I admitted quietly. “Why do men always go and ruin things with those three stupid words?” I asked and held one of the decorative pillows to my chest.

“At this stage in your relationship, does it really ruin things? I think a lot of people would think it’s the natural next step.”

“I’m not going to be bullied into saying something I don’t mean.”

She nodded slowly. “Fair enough. If it’s not there, it’s not there. Maybe that’s what he’s been picking up on.”

“But it is there. I just don’t think it’s time for those kinds of commitments. How can I be in love with him while I’m actively dating someone else?” I whined, finally bringing up the part of all this I didn’t want to get into.

“Maybe it’s time to end things with Brian. If you want to save what you have with Luke, I mean.”

I cradled my face in my hands. “Ugh, I don’t want to deal with all this. This isn’t the way I planned for things to go.”

I felt the sofa cushion sink down as Grace took the spot beside me. She rubbed my back with her little palm while I continued to hide my face. “Don’t you know things don’t usually go as planned? At least in my experience they don’t.”

Finally, after quiet minutes passed, I lifted my face. “I’m going to go to bed. Maybe this will make more sense in the morning.”

“That big formal thing is tomorrow, isn’t it?” Grace asked.

“Ugh,” I said after her reminder. “Maybe I can pretend to be sick and skip it. I’ve never canceled on him.”

“And he’s paying you not to cancel on him. Maybe it will give you the opportunity to talk to him about an end date for all this. Then you can put more effort into what you have with Luke.”

As I headed to my room, I said, “Or maybe I should end things with Luke and just do the simple no-feelings-attached thing with Brian. It’s easier, no one is falling in love, and when it ends, no one will be hurt.”

“I’m glad you’re telling yourself that,” Grace said. “I don’t believe it for a second.”

Chapter Sixteen

Luke

After stomping around my apartment for the last half hour, I decided to call my buddy, Liam, to see if he wanted to meet for a few drinks. I needed to talk to someone about what was going on with Clemson, and he was the closest friend I had.

So we sat at the little corner dive that was halfway between our places. My friend was a changed man recently, all thanks to a woman. They met in a spin class at his gym and had been dating for a couple of months. He was happier and more grounded than I’d ever seen him, and there were days I felt like I was talking to a different person. He was serious about things he’d never been serious about before and was finally acting his age.

No more partying with young girls, no more weekend benders causing him to call in sick on Monday morning. I liked this version of the man, and his new love interest, Mikala, was the reason for the changes.

Funny what the right woman could do for a man.

Did I just cause irreparable damage to my relationship with Clemson by pressuring her for more? If the relationship was that fragile that we couldn’t discuss shortfalls, was it really what I had myself believing it was?

The only thing I was completely sure about when I walked into that little bar was that I wanted more, and I didn’t think she did. Yeah, that realization stung like a bitch, but so did being in a one-sided relationship.

“Hey, man, how you doing?” Liam stood from the table he’d secured in the corner.

“I’m all right. I really appreciate you meeting me,” I said and shook his hand. “I didn’t know who else to talk to.”

“Uh-oh,” he said and slid back into his seat.

I took the chair opposite him, and we shared small talk until the waitress took our drink orders and slunk away to get them. The place was dead, so she had no sense of urgency in her pace.

“I’m guessing this had to do with the hot blonde?” he asked in his old, crass manner.

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