Page 50 of Courting Clemson

I got out one of the small notebooks I kept in my nightstand and opened to a clean page. Across the top I wrote To do and added a note to find my neighborhood dry cleaner. If I were going on fancy dates regularly, I needed to find one. But crap, that was more money that I didn’t have.

Flipping the page, I started another list titled Expenses. This type of dating could get costly. Maybe I’d ask for an allowance too. It seemed necessary, the more I added to the page. Hair salon, nails, wardrobe—all cost money. It would be good to have an idea about how much I’d spend each month on personal upkeep. Estimating the price of each thing based on what I normally paid when I splurged and had the services done, I came up with a total. I’d probably add to the list as I thought of more stuff, so I wrote the sum in pencil.

It took longer than usual to fall asleep. My brain was in a serious tangle, and with no one to talk things over with, I couldn’t unspin any of it. I thought about texting Grace to see if she could talk, but after checking the time, I thought better of it.

Her mom was almost as nosy as Avery’s. The last thing I needed was for anyone to overhear our conversation and figure out what was going on. All three of our mothers had created a little text messaging group when we moved in together. They said it was to keep track of us, but I think they were all lonely women who were suffering from empty-nest syndrome.

I actually thought it was cute that they had become friends. But again, the last thing I needed was word to get back to my mom. I shuddered at the thought and pulled the blankets up around my ears.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep, though when I woke to the sound of my alarm going off, it felt like I hadn’t slept at all.

Wait. Wasn’t it Sunday? My alarm shouldn’t be going off. We didn’t practice on Sundays. I searched through my bedding to locate the phone and tried to focus on the screen with very tired eyes.

Luke was calling.

My eyes darted to the corner of the screen to check the time. It was only seven. What the hell?

“Hello?” I said groggily when I finally had enough coordination to answer the call.

“Oh no… I woke you. I’m so sorry, Clemson. I thought for sure you’d be up.”

“It’s okay,” I said, trying to ease his guilt. My voice was husky and even deeper than normal because I just woke up. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

A little wave of panic surged through me, and I bolted up to a sitting position. My brain was taking a bit to engage, but now I worried something happened.

“Everything is fine. Again, I’m so sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep. We can talk later,” he said. Obviously he was disappointed but was trying to do the right thing.

“Luke,” I said and waited for him to reply.

“Yes?”

“It’s fine. Really. What’s going on?”

“Nothing, really. I was going to see if you wanted to go for a run down at the beach while it’s still cool. Maybe grab some breakfast on the pier after. It was just a spontaneous idea. I should’ve thought before calling so early on a weekend,” he said, switching from hopeful to apologetic within one comment.

“That’s a great idea,” I began, but my body literally cringed into a ball on its own at the thought of being pushed physically. “But I didn’t have a great night’s sleep and was out a little later than normal. Rain check?” I asked hopefully. “Or can we do something later? I think I need a little more recovery from the week I just had.”

“Okay. Call me later when you’re up and about,” he said cheerfully.

If he was disappointed that I turned him down, he was an expert at hiding it. That thought was a bit unsettling, but I pushed it aside.

“I’m sorry,” I said. Now I was the one apologizing. What a mess of a conversation.

“Don’t worry about it. I knew I was taking a chance calling,” he said quieter now.

“You know what?” I asked, trying to be sweet and end this uncomfortable conversation on a positive note.

“What?”

“I’m glad you did.” I smiled into the phone and said, “Talk to you in a bit,” and hung up. I flopped back into the pile of pillows and proceeded to second-guess every word I’d just said.

How the hell was I going to pull this off? I didn’t think I was particularly good at dating in the first place. Trying to juggle more than one relationship at a time might be more than I could handle.

But I didn’t want to let Luke go. He was such a great guy. Handsome, charming, smart, and successful. He was all the things, and so much more than any of the guys I’d gone out with before. I didn’t want to fuck things up with him before they even got started.

And then there was Brian. If I had to get involved with a man in order to afford my own tuition and living expenses, he seemed like a great man to do it with. I truly enjoyed the time we’d spent together last night, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, there was at least a touch of chemistry between us.

I stayed in bed a lot longer than I realized. When my phone sounded that I had an incoming text message, I figured it would be Luke apologizing again for waking me. Before I opened the screen, I checked the time. An hour had slipped away while I examined and reexamined the predicament I was setting up for myself.

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