Well, I figured I could send him a quick reply in the morning, and that would have to be okay. There was no way I was getting up to do it now. Plus, my brain was in a pretty peaceful state. If I started a back-and-forth with him now, I’d likely be up for hours.
The first thing I did after grabbing my morning protein boost was look at the message Luke sent yesterday. If he got pissy about me not answering him back right away, it would be a total red flag. I didn’t like needy guys. It was a complete turn-off.
But I didn’t get that impression from him in person, so I felt pretty certain I wouldn’t encounter that via text either.
I hope your day is going well. I had a great time at the beach, and I’m still waiting for you to tell me when we can go out.
Was it strange that I liked his formal style of texting? He wrote complete sentences and used proper grammar and punctuation. For some reason that made a huge grin stretch across my lips. He was a little old-fashioned maybe, but it was refreshing to talk to someone who didn’t use numbers in place of vowels and letters instead of words like a lot of the idiots my own age.
Hey! Day wasn’t bad. Trying to find a job, and no joke, it’s a jungle out there. Hoping something comes through quick.
I hit Send on the message and closed the app. I was anxious to check my email and decided I needed to finally set up that capability on my phone so I wouldn’t have to wait until I got home each day to check my inbox on the computer. My dad always nagged me about this very thing, and remembering that made me strangely homesick. That wasn’t a feeling I got very often, but when it hit, it was like a gut punch.
A phone call could fix that melancholy feeling, but I thought better of that immediately. Getting stuck on the phone with either him or my mom would just end in my being frustrated or even angry. Not to mention, the last thing I wanted to talk about was school or swimming, and inevitably, that was where the conversation would end up.
They would die of embarrassment if they found out my scholarship had been suspended, and if I could just get through this next semester without them finding out, all would be fine.
My swimming success had always been a source of great pride for them. Especially my dad. Maybe because he had five girls and no boys, I became the stand-in son. I was the only one out of all of us that ever took an interest in sports, and he was always in the stands to cheer me on. Whether it was a swim meet, volleyball game, or the few years I tried martial arts, my dad was always the one that carted me to practices and encouraged me from the bleachers.
This recent turn of events at school would crush him. I swore to myself that I would take my classes more seriously from this point forward and never be in this position again. I didn’t confide in my family members very often, but knowing I was hiding such a big predicament felt really bad.
My anxiety could ramp up in minutes if I spent any amount of head time on the subject, so I shot up from my desk and hustled back out to the kitchen with the excuse of putting my shake container in the dishwasher. I just needed to get my mind focused on something else for a few minutes so I could bury the shitty feelings about deceiving my folks.
Grace was in the kitchen, and I gave her a little squeeze when I finished in the dishwasher.
“You know, I’m glad it’s just us here for the summer. Don’t get me wrong. I love Avery, but some of the guys she was hanging around with before the semester ended really gave me the icks. You know?”
“Giiiirrlll,” she dragged out. “I hear you. That one dude… I think his name was Carlo? He had the balls to hit on me when she walked out of the room one time. I never said anything to her because I didn’t think she was too into him, but what an asshole.”
“Are you serious? What a jerk. Yeah, I don’t know if it’s all her parent issues or what, but she seems to have a bad picker.”
“A what?” Grace screwed her face up in confusion.
“A bad picker. Like she has trouble picking a good guy. But I think her mother has her questioning her own judgment all the time.”
“That, or she’s doing it on purpose. You know, like a way of rebelling,” Grace offered thoughtfully.
“Hmmm,” I said, considering her theory as I started to head back to my room. “You may be on to something there.”
Grace seemed to want to continue chatting, though. “What are you up to today?”
“Right now, I need to check my email to see if any of the jobs I applied for responded. If I don’t land a job in the next few days, I’ll never save up enough for next semester. There won’t be enough hours in the day to work, lose a portion on taxes, pay regular living expenses, and still save enough.”
She gave me a worried look.
“Something has to come through. I’m so screwed otherwise,” I said from the doorway of my room.
She followed me down the hall and lingered in the doorway when I went to sit in front of my laptop at the desk. “Do you have a backup plan?”
Frowning, I explained, “Yes and no. I mean, I could ask one of my sisters. Two of the four have really wealthy men, but that would be the absolute last resort. If I have to do that, it’s about fifty-fifty that my parents will find out about the whole mess.”
As I focused on the monitor, she got the hint that I needed to get down to business. “It’s all going to work out, Clem. I have a good feeling,” she said, tapping her temple with her index finger.
“I hope you’re right,” was all I could add.
I held my breath while I launched my email program.
I needed this to work out, and karma owed me one. At least one. I was a good human being. I typically treated people kindly, and anytime someone asked me to help them, I was there for it. It was one of my better traits, I always thought. Doesn’t the universe keep a tally of that kind of stuff?