Page 20 of Courting Clemson

What was shocking was the number of student athletes despondently wandering the hallway with me. As each person disappeared into that dreaded classroom and then emerged about fifteen minutes later, my time left at this university drained away like the final seconds on a basketball shot clock.

No one said a word after they came out of their hearing, either. Whispers through the waiting kids unanimously agreed that the staff on the other side of that door must have been instructing each student not to say anything to the rest of us waiting. It seemed like the board was collectively enjoying watching every student squirm and beg for a chance to stay.

Why else would they use this format to deliver this kind of life-changing news? It would’ve been so much more sympathetic to do this in a private location instead of amassing us all at the same place. With my luck, I’d be the last one called and have to endure every single second of this nightmare.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell my roommates what was going on. I didn’t have it in me to listen to Avery worry about how it would affect her or listen to Grace shower me with platitudes about how everything would be okay.

I didn’t know much right now, but I knew things were definitely not going to be okay. So, while some students had friends here to support them while they waited for their fate to be sealed, I sat here alone. Nothing new there. I chose to go it alone way more often than I gathered a support system. It was the only way I could concentrate solely on myself.

And as mentioned, this whole mess was dreadfully embarrassing. The worst part of the situation would be telling my parents. I decided no matter what I had to do to accomplish it, I would not be moving back in their Brentwood home. I’d rather work three jobs and live in a studio apartment than do that. My mental health could not withstand being under their roof full time.

When my name was finally called, only a handful of students remained in the corridor. At least when I came back out, I wouldn’t have fifty pairs of eyes watching me.

Quietly, I rose from the bench I had been perched on and followed the woman into the room. I tried to be as professional and graceful as possible on shaky spaghetti legs. There was so much adrenaline coursing through my body, I felt like I had just sprinted a mile.

There were six people sitting on the opposite side of two long tables. One empty chair waited on the side closest to the door, and someone motioned for me to take the seat.

I lowered myself into the chair and made eye contact with the man in the middle. He was an older gentleman with very stern features. His eyes were lifeless, and I tried to imagine what it must feel like to destroy this many students’ lives, one right after another. Was he dead inside before he sat down in that chair this morning, or was that look a direct result of the day’s activities?

“Clemson Farsay?” he asked.

“Yes sir,” I said and finally noticed my coach was one of the people across from me.

Unfortunately, his expression gave nothing away as to how this was about to go. The chance of my keeping my scholarship was minuscule. At this point, I could only hope they’d allow me to continue studying at this university and not send me home completely.

“As you are aware, you were awarded an athletic scholarship because of your outstanding achievements leading up to choosing this university to continue your education,” he said in a monotone voice.

Did he have more inflection in his voice when he made that announcement to the first student this morning? Or was this where his energy level was at this point in the day? Or did we all get the exact same treatment?

“Miss Farsay?” he asked, sounding highly annoyed.

Shit. Not the time to daydream, girl. Pay attention!

“Yes, I’m sorry. I’m so nervous right now.” I forced a little laugh, but no one else offered as much as a reassuring smile after my admission. “Could you repeat what you said?”

He sighed in frustration. “I asked you if you had anything to add to the facts as they’ve been presented. I will not go through all that again, though. You know why you’re here, and if you don’t, at this point you’re wasting all of our valuable time.”

I’d considered preparing a statement to read, knowing damn well how nervous I’d be. In the end, though, I’d decided that speaking from the heart would appeal to the board more than some robotic, unemotional paragraph.

“N-N-No,” I stammered. “I understand the ramifications. And yes, I would like to say something if the board will allow it.” I waited for him to give the go-ahead before spilling my guts.

After a curt nod, I cleared my throat and said, “I’ve taken my role on the swim team very seriously. I’m sure my coaches would say that I work very hard at practices, take excellent care of my body, and give my best performance at every meet. I love swimming for this school and would be completely devastated to have to leave. I’m hoping, if I can’t keep my scholarship, that I can continue to attend this university and swim on this team. I’ll apply for financial aid and prove that I was worth investing in.”

God, I hoped that was enough. I thought by presenting another way I could stay that wouldn’t be a risk to the school financially, they may be open to giving me another chance.

“It is most unusual that a student would make this offer,” the man said. “I don’t think, out of all the students we’ve spoken to today, anyone else has offered to take on that responsibility.” He looked from left to right—I guessed to see if anyone had anything to add or ask. When no one said anything, he continued. “If you’d please wait outside, Miss Farsay, I’d like to have a discussion with the board.”

The same girl that ushered me in showed me back out into the hall.

“Wait here until I come back for you,” she said quietly.

I had no idea if this was good or bad. I hadn’t been paying perfect attention to the other students when they came back out. Did anyone else have to wait while they discussed their decision? I know what he said, but maybe they had other things to consider with other students. Maybe some students got a second chance on the school’s dime.

God, wouldn’t that be a surprise outcome? I didn’t dare let myself roll around in that mud, though. I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to have the rug completely pulled out from under me when they sent me packing.

Almost half an hour later, the young woman opened the door and met my waiting gaze. “You can come back in now.” She held the door wide for me to pass in front of her.

“Miss Farsay, the board has come to a decision. This was not a unanimous vote, and I think it’s important that you know how much your coach fought for your retention here at this school. You owe him a lot, and I don’t suggest you let any of us down again. If you make a second appearance before the board, you will be expelled immediately. Do you understand?”

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