Page 46 of Saving Shepperd

There. That should make up for any part of that truth spill that sounded boorish.

“No, that’s not it,” she rasped and slid her tiny hand up my thigh while I drove. “You’re dangerous because I want the same thing. If we’re both feeling a bit desperate, who will keep the sensible head?”

My voice dropped at least one octave when I admitted, “I don’t care much about sensibility right now, Miss Farsay.”

When traffic permitted, I snuck a glance in her direction. She still had giant, curious eyes on me, so I gave her a little wink.

“Can I ask you something?” I prayed I wasn’t about to destroy the mood brewing between us. No matter how nervous I was about that happening, this conversation needed to be had.

“Yes, of course. Open book right here,” she answered, pointing back toward her sternum.

“I want to be careful not to have a repeat of that first night you were over.” After she gave a quick nod, I continued. “If you have known triggers, can we talk about them now rather than after I hit one?”

Shepperd didn’t answer right away and seemed more interested in looking out her window than having this discussion.

Shit. Did I blow my chance with her now?

While still gazing at the passing scenery, she finally began talking. “I’m so embarrassed that happened,” she said quietly, and this time I was the one to reach across and put my hand on her thigh.

“Don’t be. Please. But I don’t want to have a repeat of that scene, because I felt awful for days. I want our intimate time to be amazing and fun.”

“Amazing, huh?” she teased with a grin.

I screwed up my face as if she were insane. “Hell yes, amazing.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “I’m about due for some amazing in my life.”

“Soooo?” I drew out the transition. “Triggers?”

“Ummm, well…I seem to freak out when someone tries to pin me down. That’s what happened that first time. I know certain smells do it too, but I doubt I will encounter those in your bedroom, you know? Gasoline, motor oil, decaying-grass clippings.” She still hadn’t turned to face me, and I figured it was easier for her to have this talk without direct eye contact.

So I nodded, more interested in listening and learning about her than adding my own comments. Of course I wanted details. That was the way my brain worked. Of course I wanted to find the monster who molested a little girl and tear his dick off and stuff it down his throat. But those were thoughts to keep to myself right now. I was smart enough to know that, at least.

She shrugged like this was just another everyday conversation. You know, how was your day? Crazy weather we’re having, right? What triggers do you have from being sexually abused? Yep! Just another ho-hum conversation between friends.

“I’m not sure I like the way you’re looking at me right now,” she said after studying me for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry, baby. Really, I am. I’m just marveling at how strong and resilient you are.”

She burst out with a laugh. “Oh, I’m the furthest from either of those things, Law.”

“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. That’s what I see when I look at you. I’m not sure what my expression was that made you uncomfortable, but that’s really what I was thinking.”

She reached over and cupped my cheek as I turned onto my street. “You’re an incredible man,” she said quietly. “I’m not sure how I got so lucky, but I’m going to do everything I can not to fuck this up.”

I swung my car into the driveway and put the car in park. We both inhaled loudly and looked at each other. The anticipation was back between us, and my heartbeat became a jackhammer in my chest. I couldn’t remember the last time a woman made me feel that way.

“Let’s go inside,” I said and gave her a quick peck. “We have the rest of the night, and I want to take my time.”

She sucked in another breath, and I smiled. She was right where I wanted her mentally—here with me, in the present. I would do everything in my power to erase all the bad memories she had. By the time I was finished loving this girl, she wouldn’t be able to remember a time she wasn’t mine.

In the low light of my bedroom, I lifted her shirt over her head and let it drop from my fingers to the floor. I knew she had a slight build from watching her so often at the gym, but seeing her without clothes was a different experience.

I didn’t mind thin girls. In fact, I preferred it. But Shepperd was on the dangerous side of too thin, and I filed the impression away in the recesses of my mind to address it with her when the time was right.

This was not that time. Right now, I stood before the incredible creature and carefully studied her reactions. Breaths were even if a bit shallow. If she wasn’t truly calm, she was forcing herself to appear that way.

Even after I promised, “Baby, I’m going to make you feel so good,” while snaking my arms behind her to release the clasp of her lacy bra, she held my gaze with attentive eyes. I slid the light blue straps down her arms with sure fingers and let the sexy little thing fall to the ground between our feet.

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