Page 39 of Saving Shepperd

She tilted her head to the side in question.

“I want to fuck you more than I want to breathe right now.” I wasn’t interested in beating around the bush anymore. Hell, if we were officially exclusive, shouldn’t we at least celebrate? Judging by the way she was staring at me, she was thinking the same thing.

“Mmmm,” she hummed. “I approve of that message.” She gave me a slow nod, and I battled just pushing her back into the car and taking care of things right where we were.

As exciting and appealing as that thought was, the more rational side of me knew she deserved better than a quickie in the bucket seat of a car. I wanted to spend my time worshipping her body. Take an entire evening to explore every inch of her delicate skin.

“Let’s go inside,” I said on a sigh. “I’ll get changed and maybe grab something quick to eat, and then we can head over to your place and start moving your stuff.”

As we walked up my front walk, she said, “No, seriously. You don’t have to help me do that. I can work on it while you’re at the office tomorrow.” She quickly added, “I don’t have work tomorrow.”

If we hadn’t been going single file to the front door, I would’ve studied her face. Something about the rapidness and insistence of her response was throwing me off.

So I whirled around and pulled her against my body by her belt loops. I held her there until she lifted her face to meet my gaze.

“Tell me what’s going on,” I said with my lips pressed to hers.

She struggled a tiny bit to pull away, so I held on just a bit tighter.

“Uh-uh. Don’t run from me, darling. Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours. Something just shifted, and I want to be here for you.”

I could feel her discomfort building in the air between us. Didn’t we just promise to be honest with each other? I’d remind her of that if I had to. Her entire body deflated in my arms as she prepared herself for what I was guessing would be a vulnerable moment.

“I want to keep you for myself,” she rushed out and then studied the ground as though she were counting blades of grass in the small patch of lawn along the sidewalk.

“I’m all yours. I promise. But can you explain what you mean?”

“This is going to sound so bad…” she said and rubbed her furrowed brow.

Pulling her hand down from shielding her face, I said, “Let me be the judge. Give me a chance here.” I ensured my voice was gentle and supportive rather than stern or authoritative. I wanted Shepperd to know how committed I was to being partners in this.

“Can we go inside? I promise I’ll keep talking, but I feel like your neighbors are going to think we’re arguing out here.” She looked up and down the block and then to me. “I don’t like that.”

“Sure, whatever you need.”

And I meant that, but I would definitely hold her feet to the fire on this, because I could feel how tense she had become just at the thought of returning to her parents’ house. How bad were things between her and her folks?

Inside the door, we both set our things down on the entryway table. I had keys and my laptop bag. Shepperd just had her handbag.

“I want to change out of this suit. Will you talk to me while I do that?”

“Sure.”

As we made our way down the hallway, I loosened my tie and released the top button of my shirt. God, instant relief from the formality of the attire. I slid the jacket off and hung it up in my closet while Shepperd sat at the foot of the bed.

“Okay, talk to me. I know we just agreed that honesty is a must for a relationship to work, and I want you to know this is a safe space to say whatever’s going through your mind,” I said from the depth of my closet, where I tossed my shirt into the laundry basket. “I’m not going to judge you or chastise you.”

“Thank you. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been comfortable talking to anyone honestly, other than my twin. And even with Maye, I haven’t always told her everything. Too many bad experiences with having what I’ve said used against me later.”

From the doorway of my closet, I waited while she organized her thoughts. I pulled a casual shirt over my head and didn’t miss the way her eyes raked over my body while I dressed.

With a playful smirk, I asked, “Like what you see?”

“Indeed I do,” she replied with a grin. “I’d much rather be getting some of that than having this shitty conversation.”

“I know, baby, but this is important.” I refused to let her distract me even though we both wanted the same thing. I dropped to my knees in front of where she was perched on the edge of my bed.

“Okay.” She inhaled deeply. “I’m just going to say all of this, and it probably won’t make sense at first, but I’m going to try to not censor myself. Again, it’s been a really long time since I’ve told anyone what I’m truly thinking, so I’m praying you don’t go running out that door.” She motioned to the tall wooden panel with a wave of her hand.

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