Page 29 of Saving Shepperd

“Really?” she whispered.

“Really.” I planted another kiss on the top of her head. I would have much rather kissed her in truth, but the way we were situated made it impossible. Plus, I wanted to be respectful of the emotional state she was in when she first arrived. Even though her mood was slowly improving the longer we just sat together, I had the sense all the unaddressed issues weighing her down were still right there, just beneath the surface.

So we sat quietly and enjoyed the physical comfort of each other. I smiled where I sat behind her, noticing little things about her in our stillness. Some part of her body was constantly in motion. She toyed with the hem of my shirt, the dusting of hair on my arm, or intertwined and then unwound our fingers over and over. Her little frame had so much energy coursing through it, it seemed impossible for her to be completely at rest.

“You comfortable?” I asked softly.

“Yes. So good, I could sleep like this all night. Hell…” She chuckled. “I may actually get real sleep while wrapped in your arms like this. You make me feel safe.”

And why did that light me up from within? It was exactly what I’d hoped for her to get from the cuddling. For her to verbalize her pleasure filled my chest with happiness. Contentment.

It was close to thirty minutes later when the security camera app on my phone chimed. I knew the delivery driver was approaching my front stoop, so I extracted myself from our cocoon and went to meet the guy at the door.

The delivery service didn’t include a tip, so I gave the kid a ten-dollar bill and he was off. Shepperd was still reclined on the sofa where I left her, so I decided to eat at the coffee table. I set the food there and went to the kitchen for plates. Hopefully, they included chopsticks in the bag, but I grabbed silverware in case they didn’t or Shep didn’t like using the traditional utensils.

When I came back into the living room, she was kneeling at the low table, unpacking the bag. A surge of emotions swept through me again from seeing her there. What an odd thing to spark the reaction I was feeling, but instead of overthinking it, I just smiled and exhaled and enjoyed the scene.

She looked so at home here. So right. I wanted to tell her what I was feeling but didn’t want to scare her off. Shit, if I thought about it too long, the ideas running through my head could freak me out too. Expressing these intense emotions this early in a relationship had the huge potential of making me look like a clingy loser, so I kept my mouth shut.

With an almost shy shrug, I said, “I brought you a plate too in case you changed your mind. Smells good, doesn’t it? This is my first-time ordering from this place, so I hope it’s not a letdown.” I was rambling nervously, so I snapped my mouth shut while she studied my every move.

“Why did you stop so abruptly?” The girl rarely missed a detail, so I should’ve expected the question.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged again. “Sounded like I was rambling a bit, I guess?”

“I think it’s adorable,” she said, grinning.

“Adorable?” With one brow hiked high on my forehead, I mused, “Don’t think I’ve been called adorable in a very long time.”

“I don’t know…” Now she was the shy one looking in the empty bag just for something to do other than hold my gaze. “I like thinking I’ve made the formidable Lawrence Masterson flustered.”

I sat down on the floor across the coffee table from her and grabbed the white container filled with steamed rice. “You certainly have some sort of spell on me, woman. No doubt about it.”

After the rice, I grabbed the box with the garlic shrimp entrée I ordered and spooned a healthy amount on top of the fluffy grain. My mouth watered from the aroma, and I couldn’t wait to dig in.

I placed both boxes in front of Shepperd, silently encouraging her to help herself. I didn’t like eating in front of people who weren’t sharing the meal, but I was starving. Any manners I should’ve had about not enjoying the food while she just sat there disappeared when the first bite hit my tongue.

“Damn, so good,” I said between forkfuls.

“You know, when I was a little girl, I used to wish I was a witch with magical powers. I was obsessed with the idea for a while. Every time I saw a shooting star or my dad would give me his loose change for the fountain at the mall, that was my wish.”

“I think you’d be a formidable witch for sure. Did you want to be a good witch or a bad witch?”

“Both.” She smiled, excited to share her childhood fantasy.

I inwardly celebrated the way she was opening up to me. Even if they were little details, I hoped we were building a solid base that we could form something enduring upon.

This felt so right. I was tired of denying myself deeper connections with people out of fear of being hurt or hurting the other person. With Shepperd, I wanted to make the effort. Put in the work to be the best version of myself for her. Then, maybe, she would trust me enough to support her while she found what the best version of her looked like. It was something I really wanted to be a part of.

We ate and continued chatting. I avoided the topic of what landed her on my doorstep but hoped she would open up about it eventually. Even if it wasn’t tonight, I had to keep building her trust in me.

She ended up taking a few shrimp from my plate but never made a plate for herself. When we were finished, we worked together to put the leftovers in containers that I could grab in the morning for my lunch. I was so tired of eating out every day and looked forward to having something easy to grab and go in the morning.

“Are you working tomorrow?” I asked across the kitchen island. “When do you start back with classes?”

Perched on one of the stools while I loaded the dishwasher, she dropped her face into her hands and sat that way for a moment.

“What is it? Did I overstep?”

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