Page 68 of Saving Shepperd

Her silence wasn’t helping but I didn’t want to fight anymore. I wasn’t used to this kind of interaction with a woman. Typically, my relationships were very surface level and light spirited. I never got involved deeply enough to involve feelings past passion and, before Shepperd, didn’t care to.

I needed to get my head on straight. I knew that much. If we kept at this right now, I feared things would be said that weren’t meant just because I was frustrated.

So, I pulled her close again and said, “Let’s stop, please. I’m so tired and, to be honest, confused on what else I can say to you right now.”

“That’s fine,” she mumbled, and I couldn’t tell if she was placating me or not.

“Wanna watch TV or something?” I asked. Lying with her in my arms sounded like the perfect way to spend the entire day.

“I think I’m going to go out for a bit,” she said, and I felt like I’d been punched in the windpipe.

“Where are you going?” I asked, worried it sounded a bit too demanding.

Her return stare held a ton of warning, confirming what I’d feared. But I didn’t want to apologize or backpedal. Was it wrong to let your partner know where you were going when you left the house? I didn’t think so. Not in theory, at least.

The tone was what needed work, and I understood that the minute the question flew out of my mouth.

“Like I said, out,” she volleyed back.

I nodded a couple of times and kissed the top of her head. “Please be careful. You can take the SUV if you want. I don’t think there’s been a change in your car’s status.”

Okay, was that a shitty tactic? Maybe. I didn’t want her to feel indebted to me because I would loan her my vehicle. But it also wouldn’t hurt her to be a bit nicer when I’d been nothing but the best version of myself I was capable of in a very unfamiliar situation.

ChapterNineteen

Shepperd

This man was so much more than I deserved. If it wasn’t my solid opinion before, it was after today. As I drove aimlessly along the busy freeway, my mind jumped from subject to subject. Every conclusion I came to—even the small inconsequential ones—pointed me in the same direction. This was years in the making, and finally, I needed to have a long, hard conversation with my sister, Hannah.

So I found myself winding through the tight streets of the beach town of Malibu, trying to find her address. I had been to the house once or twice before, but now that I was behind the wheel and responsible for navigation, all the properties looked the same.

I drove past her street twice and had to loop around the neighborhood before I made the turn in time and searched for her house number. As luck would have it, there was a great parking spot less than a block away, so I maneuvered Law’s SUV into the spot and made sure to get as close to the curb as possible.

While I waited at her gate, I took a deep breath and blew it out, almost choking on the exhale when Elijah’s voice came through the speaker.

“Not interested in buying anything,” he said in a clipped tone.

“Hey, Elijah,” I said, and my voice came out way huskier than I expected. Not a surprise, though, from the amount of crying I’d done today. I cleared my throat. “It’s me, Shepperd. Is my sister home?”

Silence seemed to stretch for an hour when it was probably only ten seconds. Even so, why didn’t he answer right away? Were they conspiring inside their huge castle to not let the commoner in? A low buzz sounded, and then there was a metallic click.

I gave the tall gate a push and found he had released the lock to allow me to enter.

My nerves jackhammered through my whole body. By the time I made my way up the pathway to the front door, a light sheen of sweat chilled my skin.

Hannah, in all her maternal glory, opened the front door. She had a sweet little baby bundled in a yellow gauzy blanket cradled in her arms. She spoke quietly so the infant continued to sleep and invited me inside.

“Thank you for seeing me,” I said before anything else.

She wrinkled her nose. “Shepperd, you’re my sister. You’re welcome at my home anytime.”

And that was my oldest sister for you. She always took the high road, no matter how shitty a person was to her. She was always right there to offer the benefit of the doubt. And why was that? How did we turn out so completely different when I was pretty sure we had more in common than I did with my twin—at least with respect to the crap we’d been through in life.

“Thank you,” I muttered as we walked into their home. I couldn’t take my eyes off the sweet little bean in her arms, and she noticed my attention.

“Do you want to hold her?” She smiled kindly and started to hand the baby off to me.

“Are you sure?” I asked and met her eyes for the first time.

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