“No, that’s not what I mean. I’m terrified you’re going to run in the other direction. I know I have a lot of baggage, Law. I do. It’s been a really long time…” she paused there and slowly shook her head back and forth as if disagreeing with herself. “Okay, that’s not true. I’ve never actually felt strong enough to deal with it all myself, let alone share it with someone who matters to me.”
I separated our bodies so I could see her face. I couldn’t help the grin I was sporting and knew she would get defensive if I didn’t quickly explain the expression.
“So I matter to you?” I asked, somewhat teasing, somewhat thrilled she admitted her feelings for me.
She tilted her head to the side. “Yeah. More than I’d care to admit, actually.”
“What do you mean?” I asked and tried to keep any hurt I might have been feeling out of my tone.
“I don’t want to get hurt, you know?”
“I’m not going to hurt you, Shepperd. Or rather, I can promise to do everything I can so that doesn’t happen.”
“Thank you. I can’t really ask for more than that, can I?”
“Oh, darling, you can ask for anything your heart desires, and I will be thrilled to give it to you,” I said with a playful wink. It was time to lighten up the conversation a bit.
“Hmmm,” she said with her finger to her chin. “In that case, I’d really like some ice cream.”
“Done!” I said and stood with her still in my arms, laughing as I kissed the tip of her nose. “Let’s go see what we have in the freezer.”
ChapterFifteen
Shepperd
By the time the weekend rolled around, I had myself convinced that going to this family birthday party would be a monumental mistake. I never did well in social gatherings, whether it was with family or friends. The noise level alone typically got me so edgy, I ended up biting off someone’s head for the most minor of infractions.
Getting out of it didn’t seem like an option, though. As the week progressed, Law became more and more excited that I’d be meeting his closest brother, oldest sister, and her little girl. Adding to my tension, we were able to confirm that my sister Hannah and her husband, Elijah, would also be at the party.
The one bright spot in all of it was that I’d get to see my brand-new niece. I loved little babies and couldn’t wait to hold her. It would be neat to see Law around his niece, too. From the way he talked about her, she was the apple of the family’s eye. Already, I knew there would be a lot of choked-down emotions, and I needed to bring my best game face so I didn’t embarrass myself.
Then there was the food situation at gatherings like this. It was hard to say what I dreaded more—copious amounts of food and drink or general people-ing. Eating in crowds made me terribly uncomfortable. When you’re the “too thin” girl in the room, everyone nonchalantly keeps track of your caloric intake and does a shitty job at hiding their concern.
Which brought me to the current dilemma as I stood wrapped in a bath towel trying to find something to wear. I didn’t have an expansive wardrobe to begin with, and about half of what I did own was still at my parents’ house. That left me with the handful of outfits I rotated through for work and a few things that registered higher on the scale of acceptable for public viewing. The rest were oversized sweats or workout clothes.
Warm arms circled my waist, coaxing me to lean back into Law’s embrace.
“Mmmm,” he groaned and trailed kisses across my shoulder and up the length of my neck. “You smell good enough to eat,” he growled before sinking his teeth into my skin.
I smacked the top of his head playfully and warned, “Don’t you dare leave a mark on me.” When in truth, I’d love nothing more than exactly that. But not right before meeting his family for the first time.
We just had amazing sex before I got in the shower, but the man’s libido was in high drive all the time. Not that you’d hear me complaining. He was an incredibly generous lover. He spent hours lavishing my body with his attention, and I was utterly addicted. I’d never had a boyfriend like this man before, and I reminded myself constantly not to fuck it up.
“What are you going to wear?” he asked when he finally peeled his face from my body.
I dropped my shoulders low. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out. I had this one dress in mind, but I don’t see it here. It must still be at my parents’ house.”
“Do you have a lot more stuff there? And what did you decide to do about the car? Last we talked, your dad was going to have it looked at…”
Something in my expression pulled him up short, and he stood there nervously waiting for me to either reply like a normal person or permit the explosion of frustration I felt regarding the situation in general.
Not his fault. Not his fault.
I reminded myself not to snap at him with a sassy answer.
It was almost unnerving how well he already knew me. As quickly as my anger flared to life, it ebbed as he shifted from foot to foot. A grin spread across my lips as I watched his confusion blossom at my mood swing. So I reached out to reassure him I wasn’t about to blow.
“I’m fine, man. I swear. I’m getting better at the whole”—I made air quotes—“control the rageroutine.” I wrapped my arms around his fit waist and hugged him. “I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have found you, Mr. Masterson.”