“How about I explain it to you as I put you back to bed?” Luna says, picking Izzy up.
After a round of good nights, it's just me and Ford in the living room.
“Why don't you go to your room and read that letter? Luna and I will be up a while longer if you need to talk,” he says.
I nod with a huge knot in my throat as I stand and head to the guest room.
A million things run through my head. What if he is saying goodbye? What if he doesn't want to deal with all this? When I said I needed space was it too much and he's decided to end it all? And if he can't even do it to my face, did he decide to do it in this letter?
A small part of me wonders if the letter is a good thing, but the bigger part of me is scared to open it. So, I put it on the dresser, sit on the bed and stare at it. If I want to make a full and informed decision in the upcoming days, I know I’m going to have to read it. Good or bad, I have to know what is in that letter.
So, I grab the letter, get comfortable on the bed, and open it.
Evelyn,
I messed up. I know I should have told you from the start about what led to you coming out to Mustang Mountain. For the pain that has caused you, I am so sorry. But I can't be sorry that it brought you to me.
You are the light in my life I didn't know I needed. You are the other half of my soul, and I can't let you go without giving it my all.
While I know you need time to think, I'm terrified that the longer you are away from me, the higher the chance is you will walk away and not look back. That would devastate me.
I miss holding you in my arms, hearing your giggle fill the house, having you sleep next to me, and it's only been a few hours.
Life together isn’t always going to be easy, but I swear I’ll give it my all and never make you regret the choice of giving me a second chance should you decide to.
If you still plan to move to Bozeman, then just know I will follow you and spend the rest of my days trying to make it up to you in hopes you will come back to me. I'll never give up on us.
My heart is yours. And I am yours.
Scar
By the time I'm done reading the letter, tears are streaming down my face. I place the letter on my nightstand and turn off the light and cry into my pillow. Then I spend the next few hours tossing and turning, not able to sleep. All I can think about is Scar and his letter.
I think about what life would be like if I stayed with him and what it would be like to feel as loved as I have last week. If I was able to feel that way for the rest of my life, it’s an answered prayer. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Then I think about what my life would be like if I go to Bozeman without him. All I can picture is this dark cloud above me the entire time. The thought of getting back on the mail-order website and trying to be with someone else makes me want to puke.
When I look at the clock once again, it's almost three in the morning. My mind has never been so made up, and I know Iwon't be able to sleep because so much is still unsettled. So, I pick up my phone that Scar bought me and call Scar.
“Evelyn? Is everything okay?” His voice doesn't sound sleepy, so my guess is he’s been having a hard time sleeping like me. All I want to do is wrap my arms around him and calm him, so his mind stops racing.
“Can we talk?” I ask.
“Of course. I'm always here.”
“Can you come over here? I really want to see you,” I say.
“I'm on my way, sweetheart.”
We don't even bother with goodbyes.
While I’m waiting, I put on a sweatshirt, brush my hair and teeth, and grab the blanket from my bed. Then I put on my boots and jacket, and go to the living room to await his arrival.
His headlights fill the living room much sooner than I expected. Wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, I walk out to the front porch.
Ford and Luna have a huge porch swing off to the side, so I sit down and wait for Scar to join me. When he steps on the porch, he hesitates when he sees me.
“Join me?” I ask.