Page 70 of Wishing for Love

“Hey,” he said. “This isn’t about us. I can see it on your face. It’s work related, but I couldn’t say it at my office and wanted time to let you know that I’d have a few people here for a meeting tomorrow.”

“Oh,” she said, breathing a sigh of relief. “I’m not sure why I always jump the gun that I’ve done something wrong. Probably because I have a habit of screwing things up.”

He took a big spoonful of his soup. “Not your cooking,” he said. “This is great. But you don’t screw anything up that I can see. I don’t know enough about your past and don’t care about it. Just like I’d hope you didn’t care much about mine. Because, trust me, I know what it’s like to have that fear of messing up.”

“You’re so successful. Nothing you do is wrong,” she said.

“It’s nice you think that,” he said, smirking, “but it’s far from the truth. Part of the reason I’m having the three people here tomorrow. Investors.”

“Investors,” she said. “That sounds exciting.”

“Yes and no,” he said. He took a bite of his sandwich, the cheese pulling away, and she held back the giggle at how funny it looked to her.

Here was this successful man who owned his own company recycling plastics into adventure and activity bags and he was breaking cheese off with his finger and laughing.

Guess it just went to show her that looks were pretty deceiving.

“Seems like you’ve got it all together to me,” she said. “I mean, I know life has taken a few turns with Elsie, but that’s personal and not professional.”

“Would it surprise you to learn that my personal life might be the only thing I’m feeling somewhat confident about right now?”

“Really?” she asked softly.

“Yes,” he said. “Don’t doubt us. I don’t want you to think or feel that. If I have a lot on my mind or am stressed, it’s work.”

“I know you’re struggling with getting things made on time,” she said. “And you want to expand.”

“There are a lot of things I want to do and can’t. Money is a big issue. I’ve probably wasted money or lost it because I did things wrong. I’m having this conversation with you as my girlfriend, not as my employee.”

He hadn’t called her his girlfriend before and she felt her heart start to race.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“I got a call from another retailer to put the bags into a large chain.”

“That’s wonderful,” she said.

“It is, but the manufacturer I use isn’t reliable enough and not big enough to fulfill this order if he was. The one I want to use needs a large amount down. I don’t have that kind of cash. It puts me in a bind. But I also need to make sure I pick the right manufacturer too. I can’t mess this up. It’s too big.”

She reached her hand over and put it on his. “I’ve felt that way about so much in my life. Maybe not to the extent you are.”

“It’s not a comparison or a race,” he said. “You understand the feeling well. My father suggested I reach out to my cousin for advice. Advice is turning into an investment in my company. It’s hard for me to ask for help.”

She knew that about him. She’d seen it in the short time she’d worked for him.

He hated to have her do more than what he thought she was hired for and then worried she’d be overworked.

Even with the help with Maryn’s house and getting it ready for sale, he didn’t want her to do it and she offered.

“I know,” she said. “I’m the same way. Not that my parents would help me, but I wouldn’t even ask my siblings. We haven’t talked about this much. I think I haven’t wanted to say anything because I’m embarrassed. I just never seem to be able to see anything through. I didn’t finish college because it wasn’t for me. I’ve had so many dead-end jobs that I could easily walk away from. Most times I didn’t care enough if I showed up or got laid off. I mean I worked, but I always knew there’d be another dead-end job to replace that one.”

He frowned. “Do you feel that way now?”

“No,” she rushed out to say. “That is why I never said it before. I did the whole fake it until you make it thing when I interviewed. I love what I do now. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to see if it’s real. I hate to say this, but I never thought I’d be a homemaker. My mother hated it. She never did anything either. I resented having to do so much as a kid and being the last one in the house. Yet here, I can’t imagine doing anything else.”

Maybe it had to do with the house she was in and the people around her more than anything else.

“Not to diminish anything you do or what any stay-at-home wife or mother or even father does. It’s not easy. I know it. You’re doing a great job. I don’t want to insult you and say you’re a natural, but you do and find things and get Elsie to talk to you more than I can and I’ve been in her life from day one.”

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