Page 64 of Parallel

“Maybe,” I sigh. It’s a long shot, but I’ll cling to whatever hope I can find at the moment. “I should probably get back inthere.”

Nick moves, closing me in. “So, did you actually have something to discuss with me, or were you just trying to keep me from kicking hisass?”

He’s so damn cocky, and it only makes him more attractive to me. I just learned I’m definitely going to die, but here I stand withlustmy primary emotion. “You say that like you know you’d havewon.”

He steps toward me—far, far too close. My breath comes in tiny sips. His hand rises, the tips of his fingers grazing my cheekbone as he pushes my hair back, but instead of pulling away, his hand hovers there—cupped, ready to descend at any moment to cradle my jaw. “I’d havewon.”

God, I want to lean into the warmth of his palm. “I—”

“Tell me what to do,” he says hoarsely. “I refuse to give up on this. There’s got to be a way to find Rose or someone else and go back to fix things. I will do any fucking thing you name if it will help us figure thisout.”

There’s a desperation on his face that I remember. I saw it when he kissed me for the first time in high school. When I was in the hospital and my blood pressure dropped. When I walked out of the diner’s bathroom on Tuesday and told him Rose was gone. His eyes flicker to my mouth, and the pull toward him is so strong it takes all my willpower not to close the distance between us. “I…I can’t think ofanything.”

He swallows. “I’m going to the lake tomorrow. You could come with me. See the house, the dock. Maybe it would jarsomething.”

For a single moment I allow myself to imagine it: the two of us, the way I remember. Him swimming out to me, lifting himself into the boat without effort. The breeze in my hair, the sun beating down on us. His slick hands on myskin.

I want it so badly. And it terrifies me at the same time. “Ican’t.”

“I’m not asking you to do anything wrong. You’d have your own room. You don’t even have to stay. Just come out for a fewhours.”

I shake my head even as some distant part of my brain tries to rationalize agreement. I want to tell myself it’s aninvestigation, altruistic in some way. It’s not. “Imagine if the situation were reversed,” I say softly. “Imagine that I’m engaged to you, and while you’re out of town, I go stay at the lake with another guy. Would you think that wasokay?”

He is silent, the answer written in the throb of his jawline. “I wouldn’t be leaving you this weekend in the firstplace.”

I go on my toes to press my mouth to his cheek. “I know,” Ireply.

My chest aches as I walk out thedoor.

30

QUINN

Jeff emerges from Dr. Patel’s office to find me sitting in the waiting room. We walk out to the car in silence and the crowd shifts away from us, fearful our unhappiness might provecontagious.

We get to the car. He puts the key in the ignition, but doesn’t turn it, shifting in his seat to face me instead. He seems less angry than he does incredulous. “Why are you being like this? Why are you just givingup?”

“There’s nothing to give up,” I say softly. “You heard the doctor yourself. There is no chance of survival.None.”

“But he can give you time!” Jeff cries. “And you have no idea how much time he could give you because you wouldn’t even let him speak. You just accepted the first thing he said like we were discussing a car repair. You didn’t even seemsurprised.”

“I wasn’t. I’d already spoken to Nick andI—”

“Nick,” he sneers. “Since when are you andNickbest fuckingfriends?”

My stomach drops. Were we so obvious in that meeting today? I tried to make things seem professional, but I doubt I succeeded. Admitting to any of this will get me nowhere however, so I go on the offense. “And since when do you nearly start a fistfight with the doctor who’s been trying to save my life? If you really want to help, maybe you shouldn’t be going out of your way to make him theenemy.”

“I don’t like the way he looks atyou.”

My heart thumps in my chest. “I have no idea what you’re talkingabout.”

“He walked into the damn room today and only looked at you, like me and Dr. Patel weren’t even there. Like he was your husband and I was just some lowlife harassingyou.”

I glance away from him, knowing he’s right and that I’ll never be able to admit it. “I think you’re reading too much into it. And let’s not move away from the point, which is that you were ignoring my wishes, just like he said. And implying that me pursuing a degree I’ve wanted my entire life is some kind of symptom of this tumor, when really it’s just me refusing to put everything I want in life on the backburner in lieu of what youwant.”

His mouth falls open. “I’m trying to move our lives forward. It isn’t about what I want or what you want. It’s aboutlogic.”

Wrong choice of words, Jeff.Resentment, held back for so long, floods me. “It’s funny, then, how your logic always leads tomegiving things up,” I snap. “Do you realize I’d be done with grad school by now if you hadn’t convinced me to wait? But you did. And then you convinced me we should buy a place, just before you quit your job. Yes, I can see how it’s plenty logical foryou—you get to flit from one job to the next, knowing I’ll pick up the slack, but how was any of that logical forme?”

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