Page 16 of Parallel

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Jeff is gazingat me just as my eyes open. I swallow down that terrible disappointment I always feel when I discover him in Nick’s place, closely followed by guilt over the disappointment. He forces a small smile but seems…irked. “I’ll be right back,” he says. “I’m supposed to let them know when you’reup.”

He returns with a nurse a minute later. She asks a number of relevant questions about my accident and my general health, as well as a number of ridiculous ones about drug use and suicidal thoughts. She says they’d like to keep me overnight, but when she asks to speak to Jeff privately, I feel a bubble of frustration pop inside me. I am not achild.

“Aren’t there laws that prevent discussing my case with outsiders?” Isnap.

Jeff’s mouth falls open. “Outsider?” he demands. “I’m going to be your husband in a few weeks,remember?”

The nurse looks between the two of us. “I’ll give you some time to chat,” she says, backing from theroom.

I know from Jeff’s wounded expression that I need to backpedal, though I feel like doing anything but. “I didn’t mean you were literally an outsider. But she’s asking all these questions as if I passed outon purpose, and then she wants to talk to you alone? I don’t need people discussing my case behind myback.”

He takes the seat beside me and sits there, his jaw shifting. “Hon,” he says quietly, not meeting my eye, “who’sNick?”

My stomach drops. God only knows what I said when I was sedated, but I can certainly imagine how bad it could have been, given how many hours I’ve spent dreaming about Nick and what we weredoingduring those hours. “I don’t know anyone named Nick,” I whisper. He doesn’t believe me and I can’t fault him—it sounds like a lie to metoo.

“You asked for him that day, the first day you passed out,” Jeff says, the words coming faster, carried by an undercurrent that is undeniably angry. “You didn’t even fuckingrememberme, but you were asking for him. And then this doctor comes in tonight, a doctor namedNick, and you fucking hold his hand and tell him you’re married tohim.”

My heart has climbed all the way to my throat. I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I’ve kept a pretty tight lid on my words for years, and the possibility that I let the lid come loose is terrifying. I scramble back through my memory, but all I come up with is Caroline bringing me here and a needle going into myarm.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. It must be a coincidence.” A bizarre,humiliatingcoincidence. There isn’t a bone in my body that believes the Nick who apparently came into my room earlier is the same one I’ve been dreaming about. Nick is a common name, and, more importantly, it’s just not possible. I press my hands to my heated face. “God. That’s soembarrassing.”

“It’s more than that,” Jeff says, rising, his fists clenched. “Youknewhim. You knew stuff about him you shouldn’t have known unless you datedhim.”

I grow still. “Likewhat?”

“You knew that he goes swimming every day and you knew he did his residency inLondon.”

It takes a moment to find my voice, and when I do it’s a shadow of itself. “So are you saying I wascorrect?” Iwhisper.

“Yes,” he spits. “You were correct. The guy seemed as freaked out as I was. Which really only leaves a few possibilities. You’re stalking him or you’ve been seeinghim.”

For a moment, my jaw hangs open, stunned into speechlessness. The fact that the doctor is named Nick could be a coincidence. But the swimming? London? That seems like a few too many coincidences. And if it’s him, if it’s really him…is he a lot older? I was dreaming about Nick when I was toddler. Which means he’d be pushing sixty bynow.

I take a deep breath. Jeff is standing there, waiting for a response from me and growing paler every second I don’t offer one. “Of course I’m not stalking him or seeing him,” I finally say. “I don’t even know who you’retalkingabout.”

He presses the base of his hand to his forehead. “Look. I just need the truth. Are you… Is there someoneelse?”

I blink once, twice, stalling for time. Looking for an answer that won’t be a lie. On one hand, I know I’ve done nothing wrong. On the other, there is definitely someone else, someone who may, possibly, exist. I’m not a dishonest person, but this isn’t a time when the whole truth will help anyone. “No. I’m not seeing anyone. Of course I’m not. And this whole thing is hard enough without you trying to make me feel bad about something crazy I said when I wassedated.”

His eyes close, and his teeth grind against each other. “It’s not just one crazy thing you said. It’s several. Plus the hickey lastweek.”

I bury my face in my hands. “It wasn’t a hickey! It was just a weird bruise.” I can’t believe this is still athing, that it’s even a question. “My God, Jeff. Is our relationship really so fragile that this is the first conclusion you jumpto?”

His shoulders sag. “No, it’s not. I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry. You just knew a lot about him, and if it was a coincidence, it was a bizarreone.”

I nod, restraining a thousand questions I would like to ask right now:what did the doctor look like? Was he our age? Our parents’ age? What was his last name? Did he know me too?I’m imprisoned by my inability to ask, by the fact that any question at all will triggersuspicion.

There’s a knock on the door and my head jerks toward it, my pulse racing. A nurse enters with dinner for me and I fall back into the pillow, struggling to hide mydisappointment.

“You can have it,” I tell Jeff. “I’m nothungry.”

He shrugs and eats the bland meal without complaint, but that is just him—he takes what he’s given, he’s happy with it and he doesn’t ask for more. Nick, at least as I’ve imagined him, is not like that. He’s hungry—for knowledge and experience and competition. He’s hungry, most of all, for me. I grow wet just picturing that ferocity of his, the restrained violence in him when he flips me on my back and crawls overme.

Jeff looks up from his tray. “You okay?” he asks. “You’re allred.”

Jesus. My fiancé is sitting five feet from me in the freaking hospital and I’m fantasizing about someone else.“It’s hot in here,” I say, waving a hand in front of myface.

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