Page 92 of Waking Olivia

When I see the finish line, I begin to sprint and the noise of the crowd rings so loud I can’t hear my own breath. Their roar grows deafening as I break through the tape.

Immediately there’s a news crew and photographers around me and I push past them, desperately looking for the one face I need to see. He breaks through the crowd and throws his arms around me.

“You did it, Liv,” he whispers, his breath warm against my ear, his body wrapped around me, and I feel safe and content and complete all at the same time.

I wanted to win, but I wanted to win for this exact moment, the one shared with him. I won’t always remember the race, butthisI will remember.

He slowly lets go when Peter and Dorothy jog up. “19:22!” yells Peter. Meaningless to most people, but all of us knows what it means. I was only five seconds off the 6K world record. Closer to it than anyone I’ve ever known.

I’m pulled through the crowd somehow, being congratulated and even hugged by complete strangers. We get to where the guys are waiting and Dan gathers me into his arms for a hug that goes on slightly too long.

“Enough, Brofton,” barks Will behind us.

Even Betsy is almost nice. “19:22,” she says, shaking her head. “I still don’t like you, but holy shit that’s fast.”

There are interviews later and people wanting to meet me and an awards ceremony. It’s what I’ve wanted my entire life, but it all comes in second to Will. I answer a reporter’s questions, but my eyes don’t stray from him.

“How does it feel to come within seconds of breaking the world record?” the reporter asks.

I give the answer that I’m supposed to, tell her that I’m shocked and thrilled, and yes, this is the biggest day of my life. And the whole time I watch Will, knowing I’d give it all up for him – my wins, the team, my future. He just doesn’t want me enough to take it.

We landin Denver and take the bus back to campus together. I hate that this is my goodbye to Dorothy and Will, brisk and impersonal, walking away as if they are strangers with Nicole and Betsy beside me. I’ll see them again at the banquet, but that’s hardly any better.

Except not an hour after I arrive at home, I find Will standing at my door. He walks in, head down and hands in pockets, and then he rounds on me. “What did you mean last night when you said you didn’t think staying with us over break was a good idea?”

“That’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?”

“Look, I swear on my life I won’t repeat what happened,” he breathes. “I swear it. Just stay with us.”

“You think I don’twantto repeat that?” I demand. “I want to repeat that more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”

Desire flares in his eyes. “Please don’t say things like that, Olivia,” he groans, tugging at his hair.

“It’s the truth.”

“What happened shouldn’t have, but you’re a part of the family now. You matter to all of us. We can get past this.”

“That’s just the problem, Will. Youcanget past it. I can’t.”

“What do you mean?”

I swallow hard and meet his eye. “If you wanted me enough, you could have had me. Or you could have asked me to wait until I graduated. But you didn’t, and you won’t, and do you know how hard it is to have to look at you?” My voice grows raspy and I pause because I refuse to cry in front of him again. “To look at you and know that you made your choice and you didn’t choose me?”

He flinches. “Olivia, it’s not a matter of choosing.” His voice is rough. “I don’t have a choice.”

“You do,” I whisper. “It’d just be a little over a year. You could ask me to wait. You could ask me right now and I’d do it. Gladly. But you’re not going to, are you?”

He closes his eyes and that muscle pops in his jaw. He says nothing.

I walk to the door and throw it open. “That’s exactly what I thought.”

63

Will

Iwaituntil I get to the car. I wait exactly that long before I punch the steering wheel and let loose a long stream of profanity.

That was it.

---