Page 66 of Waking Olivia

“Sure you don’t, Saint Will,” he smirks. “I’ve never seen a guy check out a girl’s ass as often as you did hers last night, but yeah, nothing going onthereat all.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Cool. Because if you’re not in those pants, I’d like to be, so I’m going to take my shot.”

I feel like I can’t breathe. The idea of him with Olivia is far too easy to imagine. They looked like a couple at the bar last night, and when he grabbed her ass, it was only Jessica’s presence that kept me from violently detaching his hand.

“I told you this already. She’s off limits.”

“I know what you said,” he laughs, “and I decided I don’t give a shit. Tell Mom I got busted. Get her all upset just for no reason other than the fact that you want to keep Olivia to yourself. You don’t get to decide who she goes out with.”

No, but I shouldn’t have to watch it when it happens. “She can do what she wants,” I reply. “But as long as I’m paying the bills, you can’t.”

“Congratulations, Will,” he says bitterly, rising to his feet. “You’ve turned into Dad.”

He’s right and at the moment I don’t fucking care. He’s got everything else—free to do what he wants, no responsibility for the farm. He doesn’t get Olivia too.

44

Olivia

Ihate Jessica.

IthoughtI hated Betsy, but it turns out my feelings toward her are something more like mild irritation compared with what I feel toward Will’s girlfriend. And the thing is, she isn’t doing anything wrong tonight, not on the surface anyway. But I hate her for sitting on Will’s lap before dinner. I hate the way she runs her thumb over his wrist and how he almost unconsciously wraps a hand around her waist. I hate that there’s something triumphant on her face when she does it, something directed at me though she’s not even looking my way.

When we hear Will laughing in the kitchen with Dorothy, Brendan rolls his eyes. “I guess he found his happy pills or something. He’s been a moody fucker all weekend,” he says.

Jessica winks at both of us. “He just had to work off a little steam earlier, if you know what I mean.”

Bitch.

“Maybe I’ll start visiting him during the day at work.” She smiles at me. “You know, to take the edge off.”

That’s when I no longer merely hate her but decide I’d like to see her clinging to life. I want her just conscious enough to know it’s me pulling the plug.

I make it through the night with a great deal of jaw clenching and tight fists, and only begin to relax when they rise to leave. “Hey,” she says, pulling me aside when Will leaves the room, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry about your brother.”

I nod. She isn’t the least bit sorry. How Will hasn’t seen through her crap is beyond me.

“So I hate to be the one telling you this,” she continues, “but the Langstroms really aren’t in a position to be helping anyone out right now. Things are tough for them and I’m just not sure they can handle the extra strain.”

“I haven’t been asking them for help.”

“No, you know what I mean, emotional help, stability,” she says. “They can’t be your substitute family right now. They’ve got enough of their own stuff to deal with. Dorothy and Will would never tell you that, of course, but it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?”

I hate every word out of her mouth, but I hate even more that she is probably right.

45

Will

Ishowedup on the track Monday morning with a premonition that it would be a bad week and I was correct.

First there’s Olivia, who shows up each morning a little more stressed out and hollowed-eyed than I’ve seen her. With every success, her anxiety grows. The number of people who now expect her to win has increased exponentially, and there’s a world of difference between pleasantly surprising everyone with a success and people assuming it. I’m just not sure why it’s hitting her so much harder now.

Then there’s Betsy, who has a talent for finding anyone’s vulnerable spot and stabbing it with the sharpest thing within reach.

“You know,” she says to Olivia, “if you don’t take first next week, we won’t get into regionals.”

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