Page 44 of Waking Olivia

"Olivia, do you know where you are?"

"Yes," she groans.

"Who's the current President?"

"Justin Bieber," she replies. Her eyes close. "I'm fine. Let me up."

I put Betsy in charge and take Olivia to my office so I can clean off her cuts.

"You're having a bad week," I tell her as I tape off her knee.

"No shit."

"I guess the question I really want to ask iswhyare you having a bad week? Are you stressed about the meet?"

She sighs, staring out the window over my shoulder. "Everyone assumes I'll take first now."

I'd like to tell her she's wrong, but she's not. Olivia's accomplishments are no longer a surprise, a thrill. They're expected, and as hostile as she tends to be, I know that she doesn't like disappointing people.

"Is that it? Or are you worried because you won't be at my mom's?" Our next meet is too far for a day trip, which means that we'll be in a hotel the night before, away from the safety of my mother's house.

She sighs. "A little."

It's a lot.

Everything about her posture is tense as she answers as if she's trying to compress the truth inside herself.

"What normally happens when you're in a hotel? You must have dealt with this before."

"I try not to fall asleep."

No wonder her performance has been so hit or miss through college. "How do you do that if the lights are off and you've got someone in the bed next to yours?"

A flush ghosts her cheekbones, which surprises me. I didn't think she was capable of being embarrassed. "I usually tell whoever I'm rooming with that I'm sneaking out."

My next question sounds angrier than it should. "To dowhat?"

"To go serve food to the homeless," she snaps. "What do you think? I let them think I'm staying with one of the guys."

"And do you?"

"What good would that do? You think I'm any less likely to run from a guy's room than I am from my own?"

A tightness I wasn’t even aware of seems to release in that moment, just a little. "So what do you do?"

"I go outside and walk to keep myself awake. If I can find a place that's open all night, I'll go there and hang out. When I start to fall asleep, I start walking again."

"Olivia, walking all night and staying up all night aren't much better before a meet than a six-mile run."

"Yeah, I know that. But theyarebetter than being brought back by the cops or missing the meet entirely because I'm lost, or having my roommate watch me tear screaming out of the room in the middle of the night.”

“Well you can’t do that this weekend.”

“So what's your grand plan, Will?" she scoffs. "You gonna tie me to the bed? Because I'll warn you in advance I really, really like that."

Thank God I’m sitting behind a desk right now because there's definitely a part of me that reacts to that as if I'm not her coach and she's not off limits.

"No," I say, closing my eyes and trying to push the image from my brain. "Better. You're going to room with my mom."

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