Page 101 of Waking Olivia

“Her stuff is gone, she didn’t show up for class today and no one’s seen her, so yeah.”

“Yes,” he says, “but are you sure she left willingly?”

70

Olivia

The bus ridefrom Denver to LA is exactly 22 hours long.

I pretend I’m just going on a short trip because it’s easier than thinking about the fact that I’ve left him behind for good. Does it matter anyway? Better to leave now than to spend the next year falling more deeply in love with someone I am not going to end up with.

During one of the stops I call his work line, knowing it’s late enough there’s no chance he’ll answer. My voice is breezy and careless as I tell him that it was never going to work and that ECU is a waste of my time. I want to apologize, to ask him to tell his mother goodbye, but I don’t because I’m about 90% sure I’ll cry and ruin the whole charade.

And when I end the call, Idocry. I might never hear his voice again, and he and Dorothy will always remember me as an ingrate who took everything they offered and threw it in their faces without a backward glance.

I check my emails at the Las Vegas bus terminal, pushing the ones from Will into a folder. I’ll read them someday, when it’s easier, but I can’t right now. I only read and reply to one thing in my inbox — a letter from a representative for Fumito, some fledgling Japanese shoe company, who says he wants to Fed Ex me a proposal. I write back and give him Sean’s address in LA. I just hope Sean lets me stay long enough to receive it.

I should be happier about the endorsement than I am. I mean, this is all I wanted, right? But the truth is that what I want even more is to be able to call Will right now and share the good news. Without that, it feels a little hollow.

71

Will

All the detailsof Olivia’s story checked out.

There were animal bones in her brother’s grave, which rested just beneath a large oak tree. The police went to bring in Olivia’s father for questioning and found that he’d skipped town. From all appearances, he was in a hurry.

“We think someone tipped him off that she’s talking,” the cop says. “Maybe he just ran. But it’s also possible he’s going after the only eyewitness we have.”

Olivia.

I’ve got to find her before he does.

It’s only in absolute desperation that I ask Erin again. I insist on meeting her in person this time, because Erin has one of those faces you can read before she’s ever said a word. If she’s lying, I’ll be able to tell.

She denies all knowledge again, but there’s something fearful in her eyes.

“Look, Erin, if you know anything, you’ve got to tell me.”

“I think you need to just let her go.”

My head lifts. “What did you say?”

“It’s best for everyone if you just let her leave. Don’t look for her.”

“How can you say that? She’s got no family, no money, nothing. She’s going to lose her scholarship if we don’t get her back here.”

“Look, she’s safe, and she’s doing this for you. That’s all I can say.”

“Forme?” I demand. “How the hell could this be for me? I’m going crazy, Erin. Her father may be after her. I have no idea if she’s checking her email or voicemail, so I don’t know if she realizes she’s in danger. If you know something, you’ve got to tell me.”

Ten minuteslater I’m in my car, making the hour-long drive to Denver. There’s a direct flight to LA that leaves in two hours. No, I can’t afford this plane ticket, but I’ll worry about that later. There’s not a chance I’m wasting a day or more driving to LA when I have no idea if she’s safe.

Erin told me everything, and I still can’t get my head around it. I’d begun to suspect that Jessica was a little crazy, but for her to blackmail Olivia? It’s a level of insanity I’d never even guessed at. I feel sick imagining Olivia leaving, and immeasurably grateful at the same time: she thought I’d used her and rejected her, but she was still willing to give up everything for me.

I messed up. And once I find her, I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to her.

72

---