Page 19 of Daddy Christmas

The twinkling lights dimmed,casting soft shadows across Nicholas's face. My heart raced as the cheerful Christmas music faded to silence.

"I'm ready," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

Nicholas stepped closer, his green eyes filled with warmth. "Gemma," he said gently, "I want to help you let go of the shame and doubt you've been carrying."

A lump formed in my throat. I'd spent so long hiding those feelings, even from myself.

"You deserve joy and acceptance," Nicholas continued, his voice low and soothing. "Especially during this time of year."

I swallowed hard, fighting back tears. "I'm not sure I do," I admitted.

Nicholas reached out, taking my trembling hands in his. "You do," he said firmly. "More than you know."

His touch sent a shiver through me. I wanted to believe him so badly, but years of loneliness and self-doubt were hard to shake.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked.

A slight smile tugged at his lips. "I see you, Gemma. The real you. Clearer than you know."

My breath caught. No one had ever said anything like that to me before.

"What if you don't like what you see?" I whispered.

Nicholas squeezed my hands gently. "Impossible," he said.

I looked down, unable to meet his gaze. "I'm scared," I confessed.

"I know," Nicholas said softly. "But you're also brave. And I'll be right here with you."

I took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. Whatever happened next, I knew I could trust him.

Nicholas's eyes softened as he looked at me. "To move forward, we need to confront those negative feelings you hold about yourself and Christmas," he explained. "By addressing them directly, we can begin to heal them."

My heart pounded in my chest. The idea of facing those dark thoughts terrified me, but Nicholas's steady presence gave me courage. I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"I want you to lay across my lap," he said gently. "You're in control, Gemma. We can stop at any moment."

I hesitated, then slowly lowered myself over his thighs. The position made me feel vulnerable, but also strangely safe.

Nicholas's fingers hooked into the waistband of my pants. "Is this okay?" he asked.

"Yes," I whispered, my cheeks burning.

He tugged them down, exposing my skin to the cool air. I shivered as his warm hand came to rest on my bare buttock.

"This isn't about causing pain," Nicholas assured me. "It's about releasing it."

A thrill of arousal shot through me at his touch. I could feel myself getting wet, and I prayed he wouldn't notice.

"I'm ready," I breathed, then added softly, "Daddy."

I wanted to call him Daddy Christmas, but it would be too much, wouldn’t it?

The word slipped out before I could stop it. I tensed, wondering if I'd crossed a line.

But Nicholas just stroked my back soothingly. "Good girl," he murmured. "Let's begin."

I took a shaky breath, trying to steady my nerves. Nicholas's hand was warm and reassuring on my back.