“What’s going on with you? You seem off,” my boss asks.
Allie is dungeon master again tonight. We’re on break together while the play areas get cleaned between sessions. We have an evening session and a late-night session, and all the materials are cleaned and disinfected thoroughly in between. They get cleaned between users as well, but we find that people spill drinks and trail in dirt on their shoes, so we make sure to do a good cleaning between sessions. Plus, it gives us a little time to eat dinner.
“I’m just not really hungry.”
I push my taco salad around in the container. I’d grabbed it before I came out tonight and kept it in the break room fridge. I’d really been looking forward to it before my brain started in with all this doubting myself bullshit.
“It’s the cowboy, isn’t it?” Damn it, Allie is way too involved in my life too.
“No, it’s fine. We haven’t had time to connect, lately, that’s all.”
“Bullshit. It’s been weeks and you’ve only had that one date.”
I look up at her and smile. “It was a great date, too.”
“I know. You were walking on clouds for like a week after it happened.”
I shove her shoulder lightly. “Shut up, Allie.”
“Seriously, you were all smiles and light. That only happens when you’ve had a truly mind-blowing orgasm. I would know.”
“Yeah, I bet you would.”
Allie is always bringing some guy home, and she’s always all “smiles and light,” as she puts it. I guess it’s been a while since I dated anyone who did the same to me. I don’t know, I’ve been pretty bored with the male offerings around here lately. Parker was refreshing.
Is refreshing. He’s not completely in my rearview yet. I shouldn’t count him out when he does answer me and tell me what’s going on from time to time. Not making another date doesn’t mean he never will.
Fuck! Why am I being like this over a guy? This is so ridiculous. I don’t let guys do this to me, not ever, it’s not me. So why can I only think about him thrusting into me every time I want to get off at all? It’s like his dick enchanted me and I can’t think about anyone.
“You know what the best way to get over someone is right?”
Allie raises her eyebrows under me. I know she wants me to answer, “To get under someone else,” but I’m not feeling the joke right now. I don’t want to get under anyone else. I want to be back in Parker’s arms. I want to fall asleep next to him again after he’s fucked me so hard I don’t want to move.
“Allie, not right now.”
“Fuck, this guy really has a hold on you, doesn’t he?”
“Unfortunately, I think you might be right.”
“Then you know what you have to do,” she says with a serious look.
“No, I don’t actually.”
“Stop wallowing and talk to him!”
“He’s been busy.”
“So go see him at that ranch. You don’t have to wait for him to call you or anything. You know where he is, and you have a way to find out what the hell is going on.”
“Damn it, you’re right about that too.”
“This isn’t you, Tess. Take charge. That’s what you do best.”
I smile at her. “Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”
“I know you did. Haven’t you realized yet? I’m a genius,” she says and grabs her leather mask and heads back to the dungeon master’s post to watch the floor.
Chapter 13