Page 17 of Naughty Nicky

“You are not sharing that with the world.”

“Why not?”

“I have a reputation to uphold.”

She snorts. “You mean moody butt face with a stick up his ass?”

Yes, actually. “Precisely.”

“Glad you are self-aware,” she says as she lets go of the phone and I pick it up off the floor and stand, deleting the video from her camera roll.

“Just so you know, I’ve already emailed it to myself and uploaded it to the cloud. It’s too late, sucker.”

“Pen, please don’t post that.”

She gets up off the floor and adjusts her top before grabbing her whiskey glass off the table. “Calm down, prissy pants. I won’t post it.”

“Thank you.”

“But I am so glad I have blackmail material.”

I roll my eyes at her before sitting back on the couch. She walks around the coffee table back to the spot she was taking up on the floor.

“So, I guess it’s my turn,” I say to her once I take a deep breath and try to forget about the stupid video. “Truth or dare?”

She smiles at me. “Truth.”

I nearly snap my neck, turning to look at her. “Truth? After all that, you won’t even ask for a dare?”

She shakes her head. “Nope. I don’t want to be made a fool of like you.”

“Whatever you say, Pen. It was just a stupid dare.”

She snorts. “If it was so stupid then why did you throw a hissy fit when you found out I recorded it?”

I sigh. “It doesn’t matter.”

She purses her lips at me, trying to find some kind of deeper meaning in my words. But there really isn’t any. I just don’t share much of my personal life on the internet, and me doing some stupid dare sounds far too personal.

“All right. Truth.” I tap my finger on my chin. “What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you?”

Her cheeks turn red immediately, and I know it’s something good.

She drops her face into the palm of her hands. “Oh god. I do not want to live this nightmare over again.”

I can’t help the smile that covers my face knowing she is about to tell me something real.

“You promise you won’t share this with anybody?”

I hold up three fingers. “Scout’s honor.”

She sighs then grabs the whiskey bottle but instead of refilling her glass she takes a long pull straight from the bottle. She grimaces as she pulls it away from her mouth then wipes the back of her hand across her lips.

“I was in Hanoi. I had just had the best Bo Kho ever. It was so good like the beef just melted in your mouth and the broth was just…chef’s kiss. But it was also the spiciest thing I had eaten in a while. And my stomach and spice don’t always mix well together even though I absolutely love it. Well anyway, I was wearing these adorable white elephant pants I had bought the day before at a street market. Well, we were walking around after lunch, and my stomach started to turn, but we were blocks away from the hotel. I tried to walk as fast as I could. But the streets of Hanoi are crowded, and there were so many people.”

She drops her face into her palms again. “I could not hold it in, Nick. Explosive diarrhea is a thing. And my stomach just said no and boom. What I was hoping was just a fart turned into the worst case of explosive diarrhea I’ve ever experienced in my life. And I was wearing loose-fitting white pants! Poop everywhere. I’m not even kidding. It was running down my legs and out the bottom of my pants. For all I know, I sprayed diarrhea all over the people walking behind me. It was so crowded, and so many people saw me shit my pants. I saw looks of disgust, people laughing, some even had phones out taking pictures and likely recording me. And I had to walk back three more blocks to the hotel with poop everywhere and everyone staring. I did not wantto leave my room for a week. I almost made Derrick go out and buy me hair dye so I could color my hair as a disguise.”

I’m half in shock as I feel horrified for her. “At least it was Hanoi. That city has got to have close to eight or nine million people. No one was going to remember you.”

---