Page 73 of Desolation

“Then why did you run away from me that first night I brought it up?” she yells.

I pinch my brow, hating what I am going to say. “I was just trying to end the one-night stand.”

A garbled mess of curse words come out of her mouth in Spanish and I have no idea what they mean. Next thing I know she is stomping in front of me, stopping me in my tracks.

“You think you can just play this all off. Idiota.” She exhales loudly. “You and I both know that wasn’t a one-night stand. Fuck, you wanted to do nothing but fuck all day, Landon. So sorry that I think that is some lame cop-out to not open up.”

I grind my teeth as I stare at her. I am not going to admit to her that her feisty attitude has me turned on. “Fine. But we agreed this was just sex.”

She stares at me, her arms crossed at her chest, and I swear I can see flames forming in her eyes.

“I know you aren’t used to this kind of situation. But people don’t talk about their feelings when they are just fucking.”

“Cabrón.”

I’ve heard enough Spanish curse words to know she just called me a bastard.

“Okay. You’re right. Forgive my old ass for caring about you in some way. Just because we are having casual sex doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. But if you don’t even want that then maybe we should just go back to your place and fuck and then I can go home.”

“Mar,” I say, grabbing her arm. “Shit. I didn’t mean it like that. We are friends.”

She screams into the air and turns around, heading back to the boardwalk that leads toward my house. I run after her as guilt consumes me. It was shitty of me to say that stuff but I needed her to stop asking questions. I keep that part of me locked down. No one needs to hear it.

“Mar,” I yell as I jog to catch up to her. “Mariela!”

I catch up to her as she reaches the boardwalk. I grab her arm, spinning her to face me. “Hey,” I say as I push her hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry. I just don’t talk about it.”

“You should.”

I sense her about to pull away so I wrap my arms around her waist to keep her close to me. “I do talk about it to Mr. Cartwell. He listens. He doesn’t judge.”

She looks up to the sky and I can tell she is trying to hold back tears but she keeps them at bay. “I won’t judge you either.”

“I know.”

“Hell, look at the mess of my life.”

I cup her cheek. “I want to help you fix that.”

“But you won’t let me in, Landon. I let you in.”

“It’s hard for me to talk about it. I don’t talk about it to anyone. Hell, not even a therapist even though I am supposed to be.” I pause as I take in this beautiful, strong woman in front of me. The one who has been to hell and back, fighting her way for her independence. “I’ll tell you one day. I promise. Just… I can’t today.”

She nods and my heart warms a little more for this woman. She understands me when most don’t. And I am sure I will lose her once I tell her my truth. That’s why I won’t tell her now. I just want to hold on to her for a little bit longer.

“Want to head back to my place? I was going to cook for you.”

A small smile cracks her face. “You? Cook?”

I brush my thumb over her lips. “I was going to try.”

“Oh, this should be good.”

I bring my lips to hers and she kisses me back with reverence. And I know I will tell her one day about the things that have destroyed me.

Chapter Twenty-One

Mari

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