Page 24 of Desolation

I crack my neck as I joke. “As happy as ever.”

I can hear Ryder sigh on the other end of the phone. “Don’t bullshit me. I know this has been hard for you.”

The thing about my brother is I can’t lie to him. He went through worse than I did and came out better for it. He lost his entire team a few years back. He went through a lot of dark shit but he worked his ass off to get there. It took him a while to get help but he did, eventually. Probably have his wife to thank for that. She woke him up from the nightmare he was living in and brought him back to life.

“It’s been rough. I’ve been hanging out with Colton and being around him reminds me of everything I used to have.”

“It’s not easy seeing people happy with the career you wanted to have.”

I grip the back of my neck as I think about his words. “No, it’s not.”

“Have you seen your therapist?”

Shit. I knew he would ask that. “Not in a while.”

“How long is awhile?”

The truth is six months but I don’t tell him that. “A month, maybe six weeks.”

“You need to go back, Landon. I know it fucking sucks talking about your feelings. But it is for the best. I wouldn’t be here today if I didn’t man up and go.”

“I think that mostly had to do with Tacoma.”

“She helped a lot.”

I can tell he is smiling just from the mention of her. Perfect time to change the subject. “How is she doing?”

“She’s good. We’re really good. We have another month in New Orleans before we head back to White Creek for the summer and fall. The guy that runs the jazz club she sings at got her a gig at another one so she’s been singing four nights a week now.”

I smile thinking about how happy that woman makes him. “I’ll have to come see you sometime. Maybe Mardi Gras next year?”

He chuckles into the phone. “If you want to deal with the drunks during Mardi Gras, you are welcome any time. But since you quit drinking you might want to wait til the crazy dies down.”

“You make a good point.”

“Did you get the job you were telling me about?”

“Yeah, man. I am now working for a private security company. But they have me doing paperwork and analyzing intel.” After I say it, I realize that’s what my brother does now for the Marines.

“It’s not all that bad. You get used to it.”

I nod. “I’m sure I will but you know I did surveillance. I was in the field. I was in the action.”

“So was I, Landon. I know it doesn’t have the thrill you got before. But I know they will send you there eventually whenever they have a contract that needs your skill set.”

His calm tone and reassurance makes me feel a little better. “I know.”

“And I’ll be worried sick about you. You’re the only family we have left.”

I laugh at that. “Oh come on, man, you have a whole new family out in White Creek. I know for a fact. I’ve been there. I’ve met Tacoma’s crazy family and friends.”

“I know. But you are my blood and you will always come first.”

“Second,” I joke. “Tacoma’s first. And if she ever hears you say I come before her, you might not have a dick.”

My brother’s deep throaty chuckle vibrates through the phone. “You got that right.”

I look at my watch and see I need to head to work. “I gotta go, Ry, but I’ll talk to you soon.”

---