Page 70 of Desolation

We make small talk as she cooks dinner. I’m completely mesmerized by her when I shouldn’t be. We just agreed to only sex yet I feel myself connecting to her, understanding her, wanting to know as much about her as I can. But I know the more I push, the more she will want to know too.

We eat dinner at the small table on my balcony as we look over the ocean. Her food is delicious. I shove down the pang I feel in my chest as I think about a home-cooked meal.

I clean up dinner and bring her a glass of wine from the bottle she brought as she sits outside.

“Tell me about your kids,” I say as I take the seat next to her.

She smiles. “Makalya is nine and Olivia just turned six. Makayla will talk your ear off. She is so smart and the second you bring up any subject, she will give you a detailed history of it. That usually spawns off to one of her tangents about something else that then leads to her plan for world domination. And if you bring up something she doesn’t know about, a week later she will know more than you. I swear she could tell a professional baseball player more about the sport than they could once she does research. She’s sassy and proud of it.”

“Sounds like her mom.”

Mariela looks over at me, a small smile on her lips but I can see the sadness in her eyes. “She is.”

“What about Olivia?”

“That girl is the complete opposite of Makayla. She is shy and quiet. I hoped kindergarten would bring her out of her shell but it hasn’t. She doesn’t have friends and I worry. She only has her sister. But Makayla is so invested in her own brain she forgets to engage with her sister and picks on her most of the time she does pay attention to her. I worry that Olivia will grow up in her shadow, never finding her own footing.” She sighs and takes a sip of her wine. “But she is young so I hope she outgrows it.”

“You miss them?”

She nods as she closes her eyes to cover up the tears I saw starting to form. “I’ve never been away from them this long.”

“Where are they?”

“At their grandmother’s house. They spend half the summer with my husband’s parents on their obnoxious estate. The rest of the summer at camp. Makayla goes to overnight camp. And Olivia is in a day camp. We thought it would be good for Olivia to interact with others her age outside of private school. Last year was her first year and she did okay but I don’t think she wants to go back this year. My hus—ex-husband insists she goes. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not.”

I nod. “I think you should do what you think is best for your daughter.”

She sets her glass down and places her feet on the seat of her chair, wrapping her arms around her knees. “If only it were that easy. If all this shit was going down. The divorce would be finalized. I would have custody.”

“Why does he want the girls?” I ask. She hasn’t told me much but it seems like he’s never around.

She scoffs. “Appearance purposes, I’m sure. He wants to be the doting father.”

“I’m guessing he’s not?”

She shakes her head. “No. He’s gone a lot for work. Hence, making it so easy for him to cheat on me.” She grabs her glass and finishes it off. “I don’t want to talk about him though.”

I grab her hand and pull her out of her seat. “We don’t have to.”

“So what did you want to do? I can always leave because it’s late.”

I bring her closer to me as I shake my head.

“We could Netflix and chill? I’m sure we could find a movie.”

I laugh as I wrap her arms around my waist and bring her lips within inches of mine. “That’s not what that means at all.”

“It’s n—”

I cut her off with a kiss. My hands wrapping around her, bringing her as close to me as she can be.

I walk us into the house and into my bedroom. I don’t want her to leave. I want her to stay. Is this what friends with benefits do? Hell no. But I don’t care at this point. I just want her naked body pressed to mine. I want to be inside her. I want all of her.

And I show her just that. Because I know she has no idea this is more than benefits but I will take advantage of it because even though I might want more, I know I can’t give it to her.

She ends up passing out in my arms and I wrap myself tight around her body, pretending I could give her all of me.

Chapter Twenty

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