Page 70 of The Fate of Us

and I don’t know why

I don’t know why

I blink as I turn to face the audience, a silence ringing through the room. Maybe I fucked up. Maybe my mentor was right and I should have played something more upbeat. But in my heart I knew the song was right. I feel a tear on my face and I wipe it away. I had no idea I was crying during my performance.

I stand ready to thank them when someone stands up and starts clapping. Soon after another person stands, followed by another. Within seconds the whole room is on their feet. I nearly forget to breathe as I take it in. My hand grips my necklace saying a silent prayer to Noah. Without him I never would have written that song. The sorrowful story of a love gone wrong and the fear to make it right. It was a mix of us and our past relationships. Everything that brought us together.

I smile at the crowd thanking them one last time as I am gestured off the stage. I head to the bar where there is a tiny space in the corner for all the students to stand when we finish.

I order a lemon martini and chug it. My nerves and excitement making me anxious. A few of the other students congratulate me and tell me I sounded amazing.

I order another martini as I listen to the other seven students perform. When they finish the lights come on and everyone starts mingling.

My mentor, a producer by the name of Austin, grabs me and hugs me tightly against his chest. “Well I’ll be damned. I was wrong. That was amazing. Astounding. You stole the attention of everyone in this room, Anna May. I was blown away.”

I look up at him and smile. It feels like my smile is taking up my entire face. “I haven’t felt that kind of energy in so long, Austin. I felt like I was singing with The Sparrows again. That raw, gritty honest singing.” I clutch my hands to my chest hoping to calm the beating of my heart. “I just can’t believe—”

“Anna May Cooper?” a voice says behind me.

I look up at Austin who is smiling wide at whoever is behind me. I turn around and come face to face with one of the biggest record executives here. “That’s me.”

“I just want to say I was so impressed by your performance tonight. I read on your dossier that you are just a songwriter but I think you belong on that stage.”

My smile breaks a bit at that. As much as my love for the stage seems to be coming back, it’s not the life I want to live. “Thank you, Mr. Cohen. I appreciate that. But I had my time on the stage. I would rather just write the songs.”

He shakes my hand. “Well believe me, Anna May, if that’s what you want to do then I have no doubt you will be doing it soon. I look forward to seeing you later this week.”

I say goodbye as he goes off to talk to someone else and I nearly shriek. “Did that just happen?” I ask Austin.

He puts an arm around my shoulder. “Anna May, that really just happened. I think it’s time we all celebrated. Let’s hit those honky tonks! I am sure my phone will be flooded with requests for you the rest of the night and into tomorrow.”

My excitement is overwhelming. I want to call Noah. I need to hear his voice. I need to tell him everything that has happened. But then I think of Claire and my mood deflates. What if he is with her? What if he changed his mind about me?

We end up hitting some of the bars on Broadway. It’s about eight of the students, a few mentors, and Austin and his wife. Austin keeps doing a little dance for me every time he gets an email from someone wanting to see me. I shake my head at him and laugh as he does another one. So far at least twenty people want to see me again.

I order another martini, the buzz keeping my good mood up. One of the songwriters, a girl named Ashlynn, pulls me onto the dance floor to dance. I’m not much of a dancer but I laugh and throw my head back as we bask in the high of the night.

By the time we sit back down I feel sweaty as hell. I drink a huge glass of water as I talk to Austin about some of the details of the week to come. He says my schedule will be insane but that we will see every person we can to get this done. We still have to write two more songs this week as part of the workshop but I am not worried about all the stress and pressure. If it will keep my mind off calling Noah I will be happy.

Ashlynn orders me another martini as my phone rings. I look down to see Mason is calling me, and I excuse myself so I can head outside.

I hit the green button on my phone and before I can say a word, Mason starts talking my ear off. “Anna May, you either bombed completely and are tucking your tail between your legs and heading back home. Or you blew everyone away, like I said you would, and have a million people trying to spend time with you. Hell, you probably already hired an assistant and they are the one that answered your phone.”

I laugh at him as a warm breeze floats down the street. I push my curls behind my ear. “Nope, I haven’t been able to decide between the ten assistants that want to work for me,” I joke.

“I’m guessing you didn’t fuck up.”

I guffaw into the phone. “Thanks for the motivating text message by the way. Really made me want to do my best.”

I can feel Mason smiling through the phone. “I know what motivates you. Tell me what happened?”

I smile having trouble containing my excitement. “Mason, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Well, let me guess, everyone was completely silent and in awe of your voice when you finished and then you got a standing ovation. The only one of the night.”

I look around confused as to how Mason knew all that and thought maybe he somehow was there, although I have no idea how that could have happened. “Umm.”

He chuckles into the phone. “People were tweeting all about your performance.”

---