Page 30 of The Fate of Us

“You’re moving in with me.”

“Excuse me?” I try to pull away from him but he has me locked in his arms.

“It’s the easiest solution.”

“One, we just started dating—”

“Months ago,” he cuts me off.

I ignore him. “Two, you don’t get to tell me what to do.”

He lifts the left side of his mouth into a grin. “You sure about that?” he leans in closer whispering into my ear. “You let me control you in the bedroom all the time.”

My cheeks flame at that because it’s true. But beside the point. “Three…”

He pulls me in so I am flush against his body, one hand holding my ass, pressing my hips into his. The other on my neck forcing me to look him in the eyes. “Baby, you don’t have a three. Just give up. Say yes.”

“You didn’t even ask me so I can’t say yes.” I retort. “And besides I do have a three, it’s—ugh—this is a bad idea.”

He smirks at me. “How so?”

I bite my lip searching for an answer. In all honesty, I would love to move in with him. See how this relationship unfolds. I am in love with him so naturally this is the next step but I don’t want to admit that the real reason is that I am scared. Scared about what could happen. Scared he could break my heart.

“Baby, I know you’re scared.”

Okay, so maybe moving in with him will be okay since he can read me like a book.

“It is scary. It’s a big step. But I love you and if us living together means I get to spend even more time with you, then I am willing to do it. Jump off that diving board into a pool of fear. Because I think it will be worth it in the end.”

Why does he have to be such a sweet talker?

His lips brush over mine. “Will you move in with me?”

I look into his eyes and find sincerity and understanding. My heart is bursting out of my chest as the anxiety recedes. If I move in with him I get to look into these eyes every morning when I wake up and every night when I fall asleep.

I press a brief kiss to his lips. “Okay.”

He smiles, his grin taking up his whole face and I can’t help but smile too because I love putting that smile on his face.

* * *

“And breathe in,”I say with a deep breath. “And out into warrior two pose.”

It’s Monday morning. Three days after Noah asked me to move in with him. We moved some of my clothes over yesterday since we both didn’t have to work. But since he had picked up a shift on Saturday night and I worked til four in the morning, we spent most of yesterday sleeping.

I still don’t know what to think about moving in with him. I wonder if it’s too soon. Actually, I know it is. But he brings up a good point which he would not quit telling me yesterday when I kept asking him if he was sure if he wanted to do this. He said if I get an apartment in this neighborhood I will be lucky. But I will probably end up twenty minutes from him and with our work schedules, we will either never see each other or I’ll be at his place so often it would be like we live together.

I know that would be what happens but I still worry. I haven’t been in this position in over nine years. Kyle and I lived together our senior year of college and then got an apartment in Hartswell when we moved back after we graduated. Besides Kyle’s indiscretions, I did love living with him. Waking up next to him every morning, making breakfast together, having dinner together. It was the domestication I always wanted.

My chest grows heavy with anxiety. Is that the life I want again? Will my freedom be taken away if I settle down?

“One more deep breath.” Yoga is supposed to be relaxing yet all I can think about is Noah. And I am doing a shit job of teaching today. “Now twist your body forward, bend that right knee into a low lunge. Deep breath in and out, try to drop your elbows to the ground, feel that stretch.”

Noah will never be the man that forces me to change my ways for him. I know that. He is dominant as hell in the bedroom but he lets me make my own decisions everywhere else. Even though I know he wants me to be more confident, he doesn’t push me more than I am comfortable. And I want to be more confident. You’d think losing fifty pounds would bring out confidence but all it did to me was make me more insecure.

Although, if I am honest with myself, the wringer that Kyle put me through made me insecure. But I promised myself last week on that first day alone at the cottage I would put thoughts of Kyle behind me. Live life with a fresh start, a new outlook. I know I can’t let my past control me anymore but is it wrong to completely ignore what I’ve learned from it?

“Bring that right leg back, shoulders square, and into downward dog. Breathe in and out. One more time in and out into sphinx.”

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