Page 58 of Forgotten Pieces

“Well it turns out the team she is managing is based out of California. She is still able to work from home. And I understand sometimes she is going to have to fly out to be there, but she didn’t tell me that before.”

“When did she tell you?” I ask, slightly confused as to why he looks so broken over this.

“Two nights ago. After we moved into our new house.”

Well, that explains why I saw him running down Main Street this morning. “Your house is finished? Harper didn’t tell me.”

He nods. “It’s perfect. Everything I ever could have wanted in a house.”

I know what he means. I knew how he grew up.

“Mac, Brooks, and your sister were all over after helping us move and she just sprung it on me that she needed to go to California for the week. The day we move into our new house, the day we are supposed to start over, and she leaves.

“I was so pissed, T. You know I would never move back here, too many painful memories. But I did it for her because she loved it so much. And I love her. I would do anything for her. I worked it out with my commanders that I would transfer to the base in Chattanooga as a consultant. I would step down from my role as sergeant. We had an entire plan and now I feel like it is all falling apart because of this promotion.

“And to make matters worse, I got so pissed that night that I got shit faced with Mac and Brooks. I blacked out which isn’t a good thing for me. It triggers my PTSD. I woke up with a terror. I hit Shelley, I hit my fiancée.” He squats down on the ground, his face falling into his hands. “I’m becoming my father.”

I spring up from the tree stump and squat next to him, wrapping my arms around him. “You aren’t your father, Ry. It was an accident. She has to know that too.”

“I’m so worried. Worried it’s just the beginning. What if we have kids? What if I do the same thing to them during an episode?”

I grip his face in my hands and force him to look at me. “You would never lay a hand on a child. I know you, Ry, and you are a good man. You would never harm a child and I know you will never hit Shelley again. Accidents happen. If she blames you, then that is all on her. I know you have a darkness in you from losing your team. I can see it. But in time that pain will lessen and that darkness will fade away.”

Ryder grips my hands that are cupping his face. “Why do you get it and she doesn’t?”

“What do you mean?”

He lets go of me and stands up, turning his back to me. “She doesn’t understand why I can’t get over it. She said that to me before she left yesterday. And I had to control the rage flowing through my blood. I wanted to hit her for saying it, T. I have never wanted to hit her or any woman in my life.”

“You never would have hit her. You controlled it. You know better. Because you are a good man. And if she doesn’t understand what you’re going through, if she can’t see what a truly amazing man you are then she doesn’t deserve you.” The words slip from my mouth before I can hold them back.

“You used to call me that all the time,” he says, turning toward me.

I scrunch my brows, confused. “What?”

“A good man.”

My heart clenches knowing he doesn’t believe it. I step closer to him and rest my palm against his face. “You still are.”

Ryder shakes his head before a forlorn gaze crosses his face. “I’m beginning to think Shell and Iaren’t right together.” His voice turns to a whisper, “And it scares me.”

“It’s just a rough patch,” I squeak out. I don’t want it to be but Cam’s words circulate in my head. This isn’t about me and him because there is no Tacoma and Ryder anymore. “You two will work it out.”

“I hope you’re right. Despite everything we’ve been through, I still love her.”

I try not to let the words affect me. I try not to let them break my already broken heart. “It will work out.”

Ryder walks up to me and grabs my shoulders. “Right now I need a friend more than anything. I need you Tacoma.”

My heart breaks at the thought of just being his friend. But I know he needs this. He needs me in his life the way he needed me in his life eight years ago. “I’ll always be your friend.”

Chapter Eighteen

Eight Years Ago

Ryder

“Mom! Mom!” I yell at her, but she walks away from me. I should be happy she is having a good day and walking but not when she is falling back into bad behaviors.

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