Page 73 of Forgotten Pieces

Tacoma

I’m face down in my pillow, all my blankets covering my head, as I try to not think about last night. That’s the hard thing about trying not to think about something. It’s all you think about.

I knew before I went to Ryder’s house last night that it was a bad idea. My feelings were starting to run deep. And I could see in the few glances he gave me the night before I knew he was feeling it too. We’ve always had amazing chemistry. That was never our problem. But our timing has never been right.

After the turmoil and heartbreak, the life changing events I went through with Cole, I vowed to never touch another man that was involved with someone. I made it my life's mission. I followed mine and Cam’s golden rule for three years to prevent this exact thing from happening.

Yet here I am, drowning in guilt, as I let myself fall down the same path I did before.

But that kiss last night. I haven’t felt that kind of hunger in years. Burning desire, the only time I have felt like that was with Ryder.

I wanted more. I would be lying to myself if I said I still don’t want more.

He instigated it. He controlled the entire kiss. Does that mean he isn’t in love with his fiancée anymore? The groans and grunts we were both making was enough to soak my panties. And when his thumb graced that sensitive line at the crease of my thigh, I just about lost it.

But I couldn’t put myself in that same situation again. I had to stop. I had to figure out all the things I was feeling. I don’t know why I thought sleep would do that. I barely slept last night. I need time to decide what I am going to do about this. If I were smart, I would stop talking to him. Or move out of White Creek so the temptation isn’t there.

But I’m not smart.

At all.

Because somehow my body has gotten itself out of bed, made coffee, and is now sitting at the bay window waiting for Ryder to run by.

I have a serious problem.

Like clockwork he runs by at half-past eight. My fingers touch my lips as I remember the taste of his rough, demanding kiss. The scratch of his beard along my cheek, my throat. The tight grip of his hands on my body as he tugged me flush against him.

The reminder of that kiss is making my body hot as my fingers slide into my shorts. I close my eyes as I picture us finishing what we started last night. Making love like we never got to do eight years ago on every surface of his house, in my apartment, and at our spot at the lake. The thoughts alone bring me pleasure, my body on fire as I picture just what Ryder would do if he was upstairs with me right now rather than on the street.

I open my eyes after I find my release and find Ryder standing across the street, stretching, his eyes locked on my window.

Fuck.

I literally fall off the window seat and onto the floor. Embarrassment flooding my cheeks, glad no one is around to see.

I need to get out of this apartment. Do something to get my mind off everything. But there is nothing to do in this small town. It’s why I hate it so much. You can’t escape it. Then you find yourself doing stupid things with your ex who is engaged. Next thing you know the Sergeants are talking about you, spreading gossip and then your face ends up on the front page of the local newspaper with a scarlet letter next to it.

Fuck. I really need to get out.

I take a shower and clean up my apartment a bit then head to Easton’s house. I know he is probably working but Harper should be home. Maybe she can distract me.

I pull into the driveway and see her sitting on the porch with my nephew tucked into her chest. Her dog, Poe, comes racing toward me as I walk up the steps. I pat him on the head and scratch behind his ears.

“Hey Harper,” I say as I take a seat next to her.

“Hi Tacoma. What brings you over here?”

“Boredom. Nothing to do in this town.”

Harper laughs. “I remember when I first came here I felt the same way. You get used to it.”

I bring my knees up onto my rocking chair and wrap my arms around them. “I know. It was easier though when you grew up here and this was all you knew. Riding bikes, field parties, and sneaking onto the field to watch the football team practice was normal. The only thing normal now is drinking.”

“I did a lot of that when I moved here. I probably should have opened my own liquor store and bought wine in bulk.”

“Sounds like my kind of party.” I laugh. “Sorry for intruding on your day.”

“Not a problem. I am tired of being cooped up in this house most of the day. I could use a day of shopping.”

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