Page 28 of Forgotten Pieces

“Oh that,” he answers, miserably. “No.”

“But I said ‘seven for a secret.’”

He sighs before answering, “We aren’t kids anymore, Tacoma.”

“You weren’t a kid back then, Ryder. And you were the one who sat down and stayed when I said it.”

He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t leave either. I can see the thoughts churning in his head. The push and pull of his brain, battling over letting me in.

“It was a year ago,” he says so quietly I can barely hear him.

I look at him confused and then it hits me. The picture. The not a hero comment. “The accident?”

He nods.

“I’m sorry you lost some of your men, East told me.”

“I didn’t lose some of them. I lost all of them.”

I try to keep the shock off my face. I had no idea what happened, none of us really do. I just knew he got some sort of award. I don’t know how to answer him. I don’t really know if there is something to say. I hesitate, contemplate even doing it, but my heart wins and I lay a hand on his.

He flinches but doesn’t pull away. “It was my special ops team. We were on a classified mission. We had been given intel but half of us didn’t trust it. Me included. But the mission was important and we couldn’t get clarity. We thought the reward was better than the risk. We walked into gunfire. Men and children shooting us down. The ones that stayed back, our retrieval team, managed to get the three of us out that survived but then we hit an IED. It took a day for us to get rescued. I watched four more of my men die from bleeding out. The other two made it back to the hospital with me but died a few days later from infection.”

I feel tears on my face. My grip on his hand deadly. “I’m sorry, Ryder. But didn’t you get a medal? Didn’t you save someone?”

He nods. “My commander sent out another unit. They were supposed to come in shortly after us. But my distress call stopped them from flying out.”

I push a piece of hair behind my ear. “Not that it means much, but I truly am sorry. What about your fiancée? Why aren’t you with her today?”

I feel the tension in his hand get tighter, the clench of his jaw muscles as he goes to answer. “She isn’t home. She didn’t remember.”

I gasp quietly. How could his fiancée forget one of the hardest days of his life? It’s like he is reliving his youth, the one he so desperately wanted to escape. The vise grip on my heart tightens. “So why did you come here?”

He finally looks at me, an emptiness in his black eyes. “I didn’t want to be alone.”

I don’t care how inappropriate it is but I can’t control myself. I jump from my stool and wrap my arms around his neck as I lean over the bar. I don’t care if he doesn’t want a hug. He needs one. I am in pieces over the entire thing. It’s hard to lose people and on days of remembrance you need to be with someone you love. Every year on the anniversary of my parent’s death I make sure I call Easton and Rae. In New York I would get drunk with Cam. Anything to make the pain more bearable. I can’t fathom being alone on that day and Ryder’s is much fresher in his memory.

I don’t know how long I sit uncomfortably leaning over the bar, but eventually I feel Ryder’s arms wrap around my waist. He buries his head in my neck and I can feel a dampness on my skin. He shakes silently and I let him find comfort in me. The comfort I used to give him years ago.

Chapter Ten

Eight Years Ago

Tacoma

I swirl around in the manager’s chair trying to keep my mind clear. I cannot wait to get out of this place, out of this town, out of this state. I feel so small here. Useless. Like the walls are closing in and I don’t know how to escape. Everything hurts. And I try to be strong. Strong for my sister who is so young and impressionable. Strong for my brother who is just trying to get by raising us both. But I can’t find the strength.

I hope that me leaving in a few months changes everything for all of us. The big city, the lights, the sounds, my dream so close yet so far away. I don’t know if it’s the right decision. I don’t know if I’ll make it. I don’t even know if I should do it. Hell, I am still waiting for an acceptance letter. I haven’t even told Easton yet that I applied to NYU. He thinks my plan is to go to school in Knoxville. But there is nothing for me there.

I’m lost in my thoughts so I don’t even hear the bell chime on the door. It’s not until I hear someone clear their throat that I realize a customer is waiting to order ice cream. Scratch that. Three people are waiting. A man and a woman look impatiently at me. But my eyes are stuck on the guy behind them.

Ryder is standing there in the flesh. I have thought about him a million times since he showed up at the bonfire a week ago. I thought I came on too strong. I was high and drunk. A combination that rarely works in my favor. But he is here now. And I want to do nothing but spend a few moments alone with him.

The couple in front of him is growing impatient though, as they so kindly ask me if I am going to help them.

I roll my eyes. “What can I get you?”

“Ice cream,” the woman says angrily. I glance down at her rounded stomach. She is obviously close to popping a kid out but I don’t really care.

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