Page 36 of My Pucking Mate

He takes a deep breath and begins again. “Losing your mate is one of the most painful things any paranormal or supernatural being can go through. They’re the other half of your soul. So after a pair has bonded, their souls are merged into only one soul, as the Goddess intended. Losing one means your soul is then ripped in half, and it doesn’t ever really heal again. Most shifters follow their mate in death. My rage, and Benny, were the only things that kept me alive. I’m glad I got through all of that before I found you.”

He looks at me like I hung the moon with my bare hands. “I fear you would have thought me a barbaric monster and never given me a chance. Hell, I was a monster. But I came out on the other side. I got myself together. My men and I started making plans. But apparently we weren't the only ones. My father and India’s father were making plans of their own. When I had finally healed, as much as one could, they advised me that India and I were to be wed. I let them know of my plans for Americaand hockey and what me and my men wanted to do for a time. They said I could have my fun, but when I was done, I would have to marry her. I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t have a reason to fight them other than I would never be able to love her.”

He sighs while I just stare at him. Judging by the look on his face, I’m really not going to like what he says next.

“What is it?” I ask, not really wanting to know anymore but knowing I have to nonetheless.

“India and I are still betrothed and . . . I just recently found out the king wants her and me to take the throne. I haven't spoken to my father about it anymore, so I can only assume that I was chosen for my work with the army of werewolves. I've been with the King on many occasions to take care of our people. With India, it would have to be her upbringing. Though she wasn't royal, being the daughter of the king's advisor, she had been taught by royal tutors. But all of that was before this,” he says, waving his hands between us as he rushes to continue speaking. “I don’t care who it upsets; I will not marry her, and I will not take the throne beside her. Leera, you are my everything. I know that doesn’t make sense to you yet, but it will. I can hardly breathe when you’re not within reach. I will move the mountains and oceans for you if I must. But please trust me when I say there has never and will never be anything of measure between her and me.”

It's his turn to drop his head as he tangles his fingers in his hair with the hand I’m not holding.

“Have you told her? Does she know it’s over?” I ask, but the look on his face is all the answer I need.

27

How do I explain this to her without her misunderstanding me? Please don’t let her hate me.

She jumps to her feet, fire in her icy eyes. “So you’re sitting here claiming me, but you’re also still supposed to marry another woman?!” she nearly shouts as she begins pacing a small space just in front of me.

“You promised to listen to everything. I’m not finished yet,” I try to sound strong and sure, but it comes out as more of a beg.

She slowly turns her narrowed eyes on me before reclaiming her seat next to me, crossing her arms over her chest, not retaking my hand.

“I haven’t told her yet for a few reasons. Most importantly because I don't trust her. She isn’t used to not getting her way, and I don’t know how she will react. I also don’t care for or trust my father. They seem to have built some kind of relationshipover time. It wasn't a potential concern before you entered my life, so I didn't care.”

Slate, before I forget, I need you to do some digging. Are there any connections you can find between India and my father?

You got it, boss.

“I’m not ready for him to know about you either. As selfish as it is, I want you to myself for a while. I’m keeping her away, and I haven’t touched her since I found you. I swear it.” I finish and wait for what feels like an eternity before she says anything.

“So you and her . . . how long have you beentogether?” she asks, twisting the words together to sound like a curse.

“We have been betrothed and occasionally physical for a little over a hundred years. Never anything permanent. In passing when she happens across this part of the world through her travels,” I say with guilt.

She seems to turn green at the thought, and I don’t know what to say or do.

“Please don’t hate me.” I wish so quietly that she barely hears me.

“Oh Roman . . . shit. I don’t hate you. But, fuck! How am I supposed to feel? I'm up against a woman you have been with for over a hundred years?! It doesn't matter how seriously you took it. It's still a relationship. In the human world, it's called being engaged, which makes me the homewrecker!” She's pacing back and forth now, and it's killing me not to reach out and hold her.

“Leera, I swear to you. I will make this right, but there is absolutely no fucking contest here. You are mymate.Even if we had already married, if I were already a fucking king, I would drop everything and be yours. That's how this works. Our souls were made to exist together. While uncommon, it doeshappen where someone finds their fated mate after starting a life, sometimes a family. That's why most prefer to wait for their mate.”

“It's not just that. I just hate the thought of you with her. Especially . . .physically.I um . . .” She falters and turns away from me.

“What is it?” I ask, softly reaching for her hand and turning her back around to face me.

“I um . . . I’ve never . . . I've never been with anyone. I’ve n-never done anything.” Another long pause, but I wait this one out in shock. “My only experiences with love come from my parents. I never had friends, and definitely never a boyfriend. I obviously never expected to find a mate. I thought I’d have some mild college experience, but now I feel like I’ve been thrown in the deep end without knowing how to swim.”

I release the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding and scrub my hands across my face, trying to keep my composure. She would not appreciate it if I smiled right now. I'm shocked only because I've seen how these humans act, but the thought of her being mine in every way makes blood rush to my dick.It is not the time for this.But my wolf and body do not agree.Pull yourself together.

“No matter what we are, Leera, everything that happens from this day forward is only what you want. We’ll take everything as slow as you want. Thank you for telling me, though. I wish I could erase my past so that it was only you and Imogen, but I can’t. I hope you can forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive. I think I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed and insecure. She’s so sophisticated and beautiful. How could you even want me when—”

“Don’t ever think so little of yourself. She is a beautiful woman by many standards, but she's never been that for me. I've never felt a genuine connection to her. Even when we’ve beentogetherthere was nothing romantic about it. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve really only been existing. It's why I didn't fight the betrothal. It was only recently that I was even trying to find my way out of the marriage arrangement. It's like my heart knew you were coming for me.”

That seems to relax her a smidge.

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