Page 118 of 1001 Dark Nights: Bundle Forty-Seven

“Are you Buck’s dad’s girlfriend?” Millie asks.

“We’re dating. Casually at this point. Are you Buck’s girlfriend?” I fire back. I really don’t understand the nickname.

“I…uh. I watch him play a lot. We were supposed to go to the movies tonight, but they were hungry after practice, sowe stopped for food, and then we missed the beginning of the movie and decided we could just watch one at Buck’s house.”

“Which is how you and Miller or Buck, or whatever you want to call him, ended up in his room and you ended up bent over the couch.” I thumb over my shoulder at Claire.

“Oh, my God! You hadsexwith Randy?” Millie’s voice is about seven octaves too high for the inside of a car.

Claire shrugs. “He’s hot. And freaking Jasmine is always bragging about how she hooked up with him last year.”

“Okay.” I hold up a hand. “As the mother of a teenage girl, I need to step in with some important pearls of wisdom.”

“You have a teenage daughter?”

“Yeah, she’s fifteen.”

“You don’t look old enough to have a fifteen-year-old.” Claire is obviously trying to suck up.

“That’s because I had her when I was young. Her dad was a one-night stand, and we even used a condom. Shit happens.”

“Oh snap,” Claire says.

“She’s a great kid and I’m lucky because it could have been a lot different. Anyway, I’m going to tell you what I’ve told my daughter. Boys are giant walking hormones. Doesn’t matter if they’re nice or not, most of their brain activity resides in their pants and they will do and say literally anything to have someone else hold their penis for them. Unless they’re super religious and then they find creative ways to make that happen and feel guilty about it afterwards, but I digress. It’s normal to want to have sex at your age. But your body needs to beyourpriority.” I hold up a finger when Claire opens her mouth to speak. “I’m not done.”

She clamps her mouth shut.

“If you cannot give yourself an orgasm, you cannot expect one from someone else. Same sex, opposite sex. I don’t care whoit is. If you don’t know how to get yourself there, you can’t ever show someone else how to do it.”

“That actually makes sense,” Millie says.

“I know. And girls, this is the most important part. Always,alwaysmake sure you get your orgasm first.”

Millie raises her hand like we’re in school and I’m not some random mom driving her and her friend home after getting caught doing naughty things with boys.

“But what if—”

“There are no buts, Millie. There are zero buts. Men always reach the big O. Every single damn time. And they get there a hell of a lot faster than we do most of the time. If they can’t bother to take care of you before they take care of themself then they aren’t worth your time or energy.”

The girls look at each other. “My mom would never talk about this with me,” Claire says.

“Well, I’m not your mom, and let me assure you that my daughter usually turns fifty shades of red when I talk about this stuff with her, but you know what she’ll never settle for?”

“Not having an orgasm first?”

“Correct. She’ll never end up with a guy who won’t put in theeffort. And learning how to push a woman’s buttons takes effort and practice andtime.” I’m on a roll now and I can’t decide if Violet would be proud of me or if she’d die of embarrassment. Either way, I’ll leave a lasting impression on these girls.

“I take a really long time to have an orgasm,” Claire admits.

“What’s a really long time?”

“I don’t know. Like ten minutes maybe?” She wrings her hands.

“Pfft. Ten minutes isnothing. Just because a guy can jizz in two minutes, which isn’t something to brag about FYI, doesn’t mean your ten-minute build up is a long time. Foreplay should take time. Sure, sometimes it’s just about the quick and dirty,like when he’s looking his best and your whole night has been one giant foreplay session of innocent touches and stolen kisses and him whispering all the naughty things he wants to do to you once you’re alone—” I crack a window.

“Oh my God! Oh my God!” Claire shrieks and then slaps a hand over her mouth.

Millie looks at her like she’s sprouted a second head. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

---