Page 90 of Sunder

He would be able to tell easily enough where he must be careful. Her skin was a map of her experiences, and he would not need meticulous notes to tell where she hurt the most.

“Talk to me, Orma,” Athan urged. “I will not be angry with you, no matter what.”

Her eyes welled. “You cannot know that. Not for certain.”

He cupped her cheek and brought her eyes back to him. “Yes, I can. Because none of this was your fault. None of it. And I will not blame you for anything that will come of it.”

Her lip wobbled.

He kissed it.

Which should not have been what she needed, but somehow it was. It was a promise sealed with something sacred, and she would hold him to it. And she hoped it was all right she told him so.

“Good,” he declared, smoothing her hair behind her ear before settling his chin back on her shoulder as she eased back against him. “Do you want to tell me now? Get it over with?”

Her tears fell. She wanted to shake her head. Wanted to get up. Wanted to fly far, far away.

His grip about her wasn’t tight, only firm. She could have done it. He’d have followed, tried to reason with her, but she could have managed it even without one of her elixirs for help.

Then why wasn’t she moving?

Why was she even considering blurting it all out? All the awfulness, so then it would be done and they might move forward?

Because...

She’d spoken true, earlier.

She wanted to be his mate. For him to know the good and the bad. To want her, anyway.

Because she certainly wanted him.

“What can be so bad,” Athan asked, his voice barely above a whisper, “that it has you shaking so?”

Had she started? She didn’t realise.

She should delve into the books. Find the notations. The reasons behind it all and shove it at him and tell him to read the whole wretched business. Forget the parts about her everyday wellbeing. About potions and logs of her sleep, her food intake. The copious amongst of vitamins brewed into teas when she couldn’t stomach meals at all.

Have him read what mattered most. What plagued her sleep and tainted her dreams while she braced herself for his reaction.

Because he’d know. Eventually. Because the bond was doing its work, was pulling down her defences and making him...

No, that was wrong.

It wasn’t the bond at all.

It was Athan. He was the one seducing her. Perhaps not on purpose. It was just in his nature. To give her a little smile when he handed her a plate. When he wanted to give a little affection before they slept so he would smooth her hair and kiss her temple and thank her for spending the day with him.

He did not have to do those things. It wasn’t a compulsion, wasn’t a trick.

It was just... him.

And shelikedhim. And for whatever inexplicable reason, he liked her in return.

She wanted a life. A future. Wasn’t that part of why she’d slip out to the fetes? To admire others as they tangled, their lives forever entwining with the one they were meant to be with?

She’d been robbed of many things, but this... this needn’t be one of them.

Orma had never been brave. Not really. She’d let herself be tucked away in her ancestral tower. Done as she’d told, believed what she’d been told—or tried to, at least.

---