Page 45 of Sunder

This was important. They should have started with this. No flights in the dark.

Just this.

“That would have to be shown, I think,” Athan murmured at last. Which set her pulse racing, because if he thought it too indecent to speak it aloud, then she would well imagine the turn of his thoughts.

She did not want to mate. Not now.

He’d be gentle with her.

He would be slow, and careful, and mindful of her scars. The too-tight ligaments that made some movements painful. He was a healer, after all—he would understand her body better than she did. How to touch, where to press.

How to make her feel so much better than she ever had before.

Orma frowned.

And his hand curled about her cheek as he prompted her to look at him. “I do not think it is what you are imagining,” Athan answered, his small smile betrayed by the line between his eyes. Worried. For her. Because she did not respond as she should, did not know how to be easy, even with her mate. “Although I will not be dishonest and suggest I had not looked forward to that aspect as well.”

His thumb pressed more firmly into the knot at her neck, and she squirmed. It did not hurt—or if it did, it was the sort thatalso felt deeply right. That if he just worked a little harder, a bit longer, she might unravel. Might melt into his arms, and all the terrible thoughts and doubts would simply disappear.

“I do not want it without you,” he promised her. “Not until you want me, too.”

It was the sort of thing that should never need to be spoken. What sort of mates did not want one another? But it was a relief, a gift meant solely for her. Because she needed to hear it. Needed that sort of oath.

Even if it shamed her.

It felt wrong to talk about such things so soon—never mind that she was certain many couples would not have waited even half so long to satisfy the bond. That was its purpose, wasn’t it? To keep the lines going.

Why would he want her to carry his young?

He adjusted his hold and urged her face up to look at him. “Why are you so worried about this?” he asked as gently as he was able.

She gave him a look. She didn’t mean to, but it slipped out before she could think better of it. As if he was slow, and a little bit foolish not to realise the importance, the significance. “Because that’s what this is allfor,isn’t it? Which means you’ll have expectations about it. Ones that I can’t, or don’t want to fulfil.”

“Orma,” Athan stated firmly. More firmly than he’d been with her thus far, and it startled away her sardonic expression. “Find something else to worry about. Please. I will not grow impatient with you.”

He said that now. When they’d known one another for less than a full day, and he was still full of hopes she’d get better. Be better. And all would work out and her worries were for nothing.

“It’s not like I get to choose,” she bit out. “Worries come on their own.”

He smiled at that. Moved his hand from the back of her neck to cup her cheek. “I suppose they do. So maybe we can distract you from them.”

She did not ask how. Did not let him be the one to decide on the method he intended—not when there was something weighing on her.

Made far more prominent when that very being gave a mournful wail, suggesting he had not listened to Athan’s command to go along in the garden, but was waiting for the door to open so he might reside at his rightful cushion, as expected.

“See? You found something.”

He gave a little tug to the bond, and it was a strange, lurching sort of feeling in her chest. She could not help her hand rising to rub at the spot, a frown settling on her features.

“I should meet the Brum,” Orma declared. “Properly,” she added. Because she was going to delay matters of her parents and Athan as long as she could. Until guilt became so tangible, it was like a cloak she wore about her shoulders, intolerable in its weight.

But this...

Brum was a living being, evicted from his home because of her.

Which wasn’t right. Wasn’t fair. And she did not think she could tolerate that guilt for very long.

“Really?” Athan asked, giving her a dubious look as he glanced between her and the door. “You do not seem ready.”

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