Page 21 of Sunder

As she closed her eyes and her hand went to her chest, rubbing as she always did. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

He reached out.

She couldn’t see it, but she knew. And she braced herself for the contact, for the pain, or perhaps for something else thatfrightened her even more, but it did not come. “What wasn’t?” A huff of breath. Not exactly a sigh, but near enough. “I do not understand.”

And there it was. Just a hint, but his frustration was growing, and she owed him her honesty, didn’t she? Her apologies, too.

“Athan,” Orma tested, just the once. “I’m not well.” Because that was the whole of it, wasn’t it? So many other bits and pieces that made up her life, but that was the most important.

At her declaration, he came to stand in front of her. To pause her steps and have her look at him.

Which was rather ridiculous given how dark the night had become as the clouds rolled in from over the sea. “If you are poorly, allow me to take you back to the infirmary. I might examine you and have you feeling better.”

She laughed softly, more air than sound. “You are not the first healer I have seen,” she explained as gently as she could. “But I thank you for your offer.” It was politeness rather than genuine gratitude. She had a great many feelings about his profession, none of which she would share with him now. Perhaps he was a kindly sort, with a listening ear and compassion in his heart, but that changed little.

She could just make out the way his shoulders pushed downward, the way his hand came to push through his hair. She wanted home. Wanted her bed.

And yet...

She felt whispers. Of disappointment. Of confusion.

Ones that were not hers.

She rubbed harder at her chest, willing it to quiet down. She did not need to feel sorry for him—but it came, anyway.

“Orma,” she offered, hoping he’d move or else she’d be forced to shuffle around him. Undignified and allowing him too near a look at her unnatural gait.

He brightened at that. She might not make out his expression, but the bond flared enough for her to catch the shimmer, to feel it warm in her own chest.

It should have been bliss, but she only felt more weary.

She could feel his smile. Feel his pleasure that he had her name, that she was trying.

“I’d like to go home now,” she informed him.

He opened his mouth as she passed him, and she braced herself for his argument. He’d want to take her home with him. Probably had imagined all sorts of ways this meeting would end.

Most of them likely tucked in the bed with the mate he’d waited for.

She grimaced.

Swayed.

Her head felt muzzy, and she didn’t think, only acted out of the need to hold herself upright long enough so she could make it back home.

She touched his arm to keep her balance, and her mouth grew dry. He was strong, his arm firm beneath her touch. He gave a sharp inhalation, and she was not immune to the way the bond warmed. Prodded. She could ease into his arms. Could ask him to fly her wherever he liked so long as she did not have to make the walk.

“Let me help you,” Athan pleaded, his voice gentle. Less like a healer, and more like a man whose mate was ailing. “Please. I’ll take you where you want to go, but just...” his hand settled over hers and he squeezed it gently, still resting on his arm.

She waited for him to say more, but it seemed the words were lodged in his throat. She understood that feeling well.

A healer.

Her parents...

She swallowed, eyes burning. It had little to do with the sea air, and a great deal more to do with the battle soon to come.Lucian’s father would be furious. He already thought so little of her, and this would likely cause a far greater rift.

“I don’t know where to go,” she admitted, her breath coming in short, tight spasms. “I’m so tired and I...” she sniffed, her free hand delving into her pocket in search of a tonic. To get her home. She’d likely sleep most of tomorrow once the effects wore off, but that wasn’t so bad. She just needed to endure for a little while longer...