Page 11 of Sunder

She did not know if her query was to her cousin or to the Maker, but she supposed it did not really matter.

She heard Lucian’s measured steps forward, waiting for her to retreat. To fling something at him, whether in word or other projectiles she potentially hid upon her person, but she let him come. “The only one that will approach your mate is you,” Lucian swore. “He will not hear a word from me. If you say we go, we will do so. With as little fuss as possible.” His hand came to her shoulder, and he squeezed it just the once. “And I press and I argue because I care for you. Is that such a surprise?”

Her hands fell away, and she forced herself to look at him. To the crease between his brow that showed just how worried he was. For her.

All the anger left her in a single rush.

It left her light-headed and unstable, and he put his arm about her and kept her upright, and she felt all the usual frustration that she was weak and feeble and soneedy.

“Come on,” Lucian urged. “Let’s get you home. You can think about it, all right? I won’t even mention it again. Not until you do.”

She was grateful he did not ask if she was all right. Did not ask what was wrong. She had no more answers than anyone else. Even the healers and their streams of texts and rote answers had quieted long before.

She was an anomaly. Something to be studied and poked at. More specimen than person.

“You going to carry me?” she asked, hoping it sounded like the tease she intended. Feared it came out sounding childish and tired.

His eyes narrowed, and he leaned down, peering at her closely. “You so bad off that you’d let me?”

She snorted softly and shoved at him, because the moment had passed. She did not trust herself to fly, but she would allow him to walk with her. Perhaps even nearer than was usual in case she needed to grab hold of his arm along the way. “No,” she answered crisply.

Orma reached out a hand for her book, but he shook his head slowly. “You might throw it at me again,” he explained, tucking it beneath his arm before he grabbed hold of her hand and placed it at the crook of his elbow.

“I did not!” she insisted, because it was true and she wouldn’t have him thinking otherwise. No matter how she wished she’d kept it long enough, she might have. “Take it back.” She tuggedat his arm as they started moving. “I’ll not have you telling tales to Firen about me.”

He made a great show of furrowing his brow and shaking his head. “I think she’d wish to know. Let her have a few words with you when next you meet.” He smirked at her, and had to stifle the urge to shove at him again. If her wing spread slightly and caught at his hair, that wasn’t her fault, really. He was the one that positioned them so close to one another for the walk home. “For supper,” he continued. “Because you said you’d come. Soon.”

She had not said soon. And she hadn’t considered it a promise, either. More peace offering than genuine commitment, but he was determined to hold her to it.

“Are you threatening me with your mate?”

He hummed. “Maybe. She grew up with brothers. She can be fierce when she wants to be.”

His expression turned to one of great pride. No, more than that. He admired her. Loved her.

Orma swallowed as she saw the tendrils about him flare and glow. Would Firen feel the bond warm even with the distance between them? Would she know he was thinking of her?

Her throat tightened.

She thought of the boy often.

Well. The man he must have become.

Even when she shouldn’t. When it made the tangle hurt even more. When it made it all so bad that she had to take one of the many draughts afterward—still, she thought of him.

Dreamed of him.

She wanted it. Craved it so deeply, it was an entirely different sort of ache.

She was a coward.

Selfish, too.

Deciding something on her own that affected someone else so fundamentally.

“Can you...” she began, swallowing thickly. “I know you aren’t supposed to ask this. But can you... maybe... not tell her what I said? About... being afraid?”

“Orma,” Lucian murmured, his voice lowering as they passed a few people along the way. “You needn’t worry about that. You can share with her what you will, and when you choose to do it.”

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