Page 113 of Sunder

And she could admit that to him, even if it revealed her hopes had been more mystical than rational. “Everyone...” she began, then quickly amended it. “Mama mostly. She was so... sure. That I came of age, once the bond settled as it should, all the troubles would end. And I couldn’t say I believed her, but I suppose a part of me... wanted to. So when we met, and you took your part, I thought it was proof enough she was wrong. But then there was... the part we hadn’t done yet, so maybe...” her wings ruffled behind her, and she rubbed at her temples. “It was a stupid thought.” Her throat tightened, and she’d been done with her tears, but maybe there were a few left after all. “It’s your fault, you know.”

She raised her gaze to his so he might know she wasn’t serious.

“Of course it is,” Athan agreed, far too seriously. “But how exactly, if I might be so enlightened.”

She smiled softly, and maybe his potion was working after all, because some of the tightness in her head eased just a little. “You made me want to do things. I did not care before, so if I needed a day just to lie about, it didn’t matter. But now...” she reached for his hand, and she’d forgotten the cup and the spoon, but heshifted it to the other so she might have what she wanted. “My cookery lessons,” she complained. “Kissing you in the sunshine.” Her cheeks flushed because her imagination had included a great deal more than kisses. “It is frustrating.”

Athan’s fingers tightened around hers. “What is?”

She tried terribly hard not to give him an exasperated look. “This. Me.” She waved over her body, the one that always seemed intent on finding new ways to hurt and disappoint her. Had it only been last night she’d marvelled at what else it could do? How good she might feel when before it had felt an unending trudge just to function.

Athan leaned forward and placed the cup on her bedside table. She almost questioned why, but then he was leaning over her. No, not just over. Climbing back to his side of the bed before he curled his arm over her middle and tucked her in close. “I am very fond of this body,” he murmured softly, mindful of her head. Her wings. “I would thank you to be gentle with it, even in how you refer to it.”

That should not have made her eyes well. Should not have made her want to turn about and kiss him.

But it did.

And she was too poorly to do anything but lie there, and she wanted to grouse about her frustrations, but she paused. Took a breath. Tried to take his words as more than a tease. “I wanted to... be with you again,” she confessed, because that was the truth of it. The rest would have been the seduction, but it would have ended right back here. With the shutters open for the breeze. “And I’m cross that I have to wait.”

Athan chuckled and leaned over to place a kiss on her cheek. “And what if I told you I’m far too exhausted at the moment? Couldn’t possibly have done so, even if you woke ready and needful?”

She sniffed, turning her head to see if he was in earnest. “Are you?”

“Completely done in,” Athan insisted, his tone so serious that she almost believed him. Not quite, but enough that some of the guilt lifted, letting her settle a little more easily as bits of tension quieted. “I might even have to send away my patients this afternoon. Have a little nap right here.”

She would not question the time of day and if she’d really slept that long that morning had come and gone without her notice. “Don’t do that,” Orma murmured. “Not on my account.”

He hummed, pressing his head into her hair. “Not for yours,” he reminded her. “For mine.”

She smiled, despite herself, and shook her head. Which meant it ached a little more fiercely, so she scowled and very well considered banishing him from the room if he was going to insist on more of his teases. But his warmth was rather lovely, and his potion was too. It left a pleasant sort of haze instead of the ache she’d experienced. It was more effective for her poor nethers than for her head, but sleep would see to the other well enough.

“If you stay, we don’t talk,” she instructed. “For my head.”

He sighed, smoothing his hand over her temple. A cool cloth would have been better, but she supposed this was nice, too.

“Whatever you say.”

Which really wasn’t following what she said at all, but he was quiet after, and his touches were soothing parts of her she hadn’t realised needed quieting at all, and how she could possibly need more sleep when she thought she’d slept too long already, she couldn’t account for.

But she did.

A hazy sort of in-between sleep at first. When she was aware of Athan leaving her, and that really was wretched of him, letting her expectations shift when she hadn’t even asked him to stay, but now she wanted him and he’d gone.

Which should have been all right. He couldn’t stay with her the whole day.

It just would have been nice if the sleep could be the deep sort. Where she could just wake up and feel better, and he would be there, and perhaps there would be a meal involved, whether or not she made it.

She opened one eye.

Caught one beam of the sunlight through the shutters and pulled Athan’s pillow overtop her head, because he wasn’t using it anyway, and this really was much better.

And then she really slept, after all.

???

“Orma,” Athan whispered, his voice low and lilting. More song than name. It was terribly rude to wake a sleeping person, especially one that was poorly and an invalid. One would think a healer would know such a thing.

But this one was laying a hand on her shoulder, and that really was intolerable because it was lovely and dark and the breeze was cool through the window and...

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