Page 5 of Fate

Wanted her family to grow by one man and the children that would come of the great love they would share. That wasn’t wrong, was it? It was natural.

“You’re a grown woman, Firen,” Mama said in that way that hinted at exasperation. As if the answer was so entirely obviousthat the question never needed asking at all. “If you want your mate, you have just as much right to look as he does.”

She smiled. Genuinely. And it felt... good.

To have a plan. For something to be different.

“Thank you, Mama,” she added demurely, leaning over to hug her briefly before she went upstairs to formulate her plans.

“Mhmm,” Mama murmured, patting her arm indulgently. “Sweetling,” Mama added just as she was about to cross the kitchen threshold. She looked ready to say something, her brow creasing slightly, her mouth twisting before she sighed and shook her head. “Never mind. Market tomorrow. We’ll be busy without your sister for help.”

Firen nodded, only vaguely aware of the added responsibilities.

Caring far more about when she might slip away and seek friends to ply for information on fetes in their districts.

???

There were three within reasonable distance. Of course, she was more than willing to consider unreasonable distances as well—except her hair might not look as comely as it might if bedraggled from the flight. Not that it should have mattered. It wasn’t strictly vanity, no matter what anyone else said. It was the want of that perfect first moment. When eyes caught and the bond settled into place like a welcome warmth...

Being soaked through in a rain shower did not fit into that fantasy. Nor did having to wear her hair plastered into tight braids to keep it from tangling about in as she flew about the city.

She wanted to look her best. Which wasn’t wrong.

But also meant that she would begin with these first three.

And not be hurt by the dubious glances she’d received at her enquiries. The ones that suggested she was a bit mad for wanting to attend any but the usual for her neighbourhood. That she was trying to force matters rather than allow them to happen naturally.

She smiled and shook her head and allowed them to think what they liked.

Two of them were on the same night. Inconvenient, to say the least... but she could attend both. It might be a bit rushed, and she would have to stay focused on her task rather than enjoy the other elements so enticing of a fete. Good food, better drinks, and she did dearly love the dancing.

She could not name why that was seen as respectable. Those that found their matches early in the evening hardly ever stayed to the conclusion. Instead they slipped away, full of starry eyes and hands unable to keep away from one another, not caring for the swirling dresses, the glittering candles. Flowers and garlands swooping down from the rafters when the fetes were driven indoors by the rains.

Perhaps it was a commiseration for those left behind. To feel the exhilaration of movement, of clasped hands. Of the steady beat of the music to keep them all in line as they moved through the steps.

Then upward, when they met in the parks instead and there was room to fly together. To twirl and feel sofree.If only for a little while.

Then polite goodnights. When disappointment took hold as each wandered off alone. Back to their respective homes, hoping maybe next time, they would not see the end of the fete at all.

Firen smoothed her hand over her best dress. She only had two—they were impractical for flying, so they were reserved strictly for such occasions. She’d add a few more embellishments. Extra embroidery about the neckline. Perhapssome beads to catch the light at her cuffs. Da had some pretty golden ones in the shop that would do nicely...

It kept her busy. Kept her focused. While her stomach went from nervous fluttering to the anticipation that it would finally happen. It would work this time. Perhaps not the first—she would not get greedy. But by the second, surely.

She braided her hair. Undid it. Tried again with an anxious energy that only halted when Mama came in. Much as she had that first time. When Firen had thought she’d been moving that night. Had tucked everything in her trunk and yes, she’d washed her bed linens so that Mama wouldn’t have to think of them when she’d gone.

Firen hadn’t gone to that trouble tonight. It was only the first, after all. Maybe the next. Which would actually be the next two, as they were on the same night, so that really wouldn’t be expecting too much with so many new opportunities...

“Here,” Mama said, fixing a fine gold circlet into her hair before twisting the loose tresses just so. “Not for keeps, mind,” she cautioned. “Despite what your father would say if you asked him.”

She wouldn’t ask. Truly, she wouldn’t. This was for someone else. Someone that lived in one of the high towers, who attended ceremonies and events that required... opulence.

But she couldn’t deny the surge of courage it gave her. That she came from a good house, if not a particularly fine one. With a father that knew his skills and passed them to his sons. That was willing to teach Firen however much she wished to learn.

“It’s too much,” Firen protested, her stomach in knots. It felt too full of expectation when she’d been bracing herself for all the disappointment she was so likely to feel.

“Of course it isn’t,” Mama disagreed. “It isn’t any different from showing off lacework or linen. Your father is skilled in hiscraft.Andhe asked for you to wear it especially. I shouldn’t like you to disappoint him.”

Firen swallowed. Nodded.

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