He pulled back with a sigh, leaning against the chair rather than hiding away in her shoulder. “It wasn’t just you,” he admitted. “He thought I lacked ambition. One should not simply be content to work in the Hall, one should want torulethe Hall.” He rolled his eyes and his grip on her waist tightened. “I suppose I’ll have to do that, after all.”
She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his. “Not for me,” she murmured softly.
He kissed her, just the once. “Yes, for you. For your family. To make sure they are cared for properly. That the laws protect their interests.” She knew too little about this. Had paid no attention to how anything worked beyond the Proctor coming through the stalls to make his inspections and collect fees.
But she’d learn.
So she could encourage Lucian properly, could thank him for the work he’d done. Was going to do.
“I liked when you talked about our family,” she admitted, her arms coming about his neck just because she needed to hold him to her. “Our children.”
He hummed. “I thought you might.”
She didn’t say more. Would press for nothing. But he ought to know when she was happy, to know when he’d made her happy, regardless of what the bond communicated for her.
She wouldn’t grow lazy and complacent. They’d work every day at talking with one another, of saying what they meant and understanding one another.
And maybe then their quarrels would feel more like teasing. Would come from jest and play simply to rile the other up so punishment could be enacted with kisses and hungry threats of congress.
She stopped her thoughts there, lest she remember other times she’d perched in his lap. When comfort had taken otherforms. Impassioned ones that she’d tucked away in her heart and would revisit in her daydreams.
Then scolded herself for doing so because she’d get herself far too worked up while he was off at the Hall, and there would be no respite until he was home again to tend to her.
A wretched business, having responsibilities during their earliest years of mating.
Which made her remember her mother, tucked away in the kitchen.
“I’m going to check on Mama,” Firen told Lucian, punctuated with a kiss of apology to his cheek.
“Of course,” he agreed, helping her to her feet and holding steady while she felt the blood settle back where it belonged. It was not the most comfortable way to sit, but in other ways...
It was.
She didn’t expect him to follow her. She thought he’d use the time to retreat to the loft. To revel in the quiet before he had to return to the Hall and his studies.
But he didn’t.
Mama was washing the dishes. Firen should have known she would, her elbows deep in lather and warm water. Her progress was evidenced by the clean pottery nestled on a crisp cloth on the counter, waiting for someone to dry and put them away.
Firen fetched another cloth and made to pick up one of the mugs, but stopped when she saw the dried tears on her mother’s cheeks, the hunch of her shoulders betraying just how much she had heard.
“Mama,” Firen started, but her mother shook her head and pulled her hands out of the water.
Dried them with far less care than was usual.
And went to Lucian and pulled him into an embrace.
She said nothing. Not a word. There were no promises of family and affection, no talk of pride and thankfulness.
Just a motherly hug, followed by a sniff and damp towel across her cheeks. “I think I’ll leave you two be,” she determined, waving off Firen’s objections with the shake of her head. “It’s all right,” she assured her. “I’ll come back in the morning. I just...” She swallowed. “You need some time for yourselves. And I’d like to see your father.”
She was usually so calm, and a need for Da was not an admission she made often.
“I’m sorry, Mama,” Firen offered, needing to say it. She’d only been there because she wanted the support, and now...
“Don’t you dare,” Mama countered, her voice clipped and serious. “You’ve done nothing wrong, so I’ll not accept any of your apologies.”
Firen smiled thinly. “Can I thank you for tending the dishes instead? And for coming?”