Page 71 of Protecting Bianca

“Yes, and no one knew him better than me. He was reckless, and irresponsible, and—”

“And I loved him. It was not your choice to make.”

“I did it to protect you.”

“You did it because you didn’t want to compete with me. You took out the competition. Just like when we were kids competing for mom’s love.”

“That's a messed-up thing to say.”

“It’s the truth.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not. I was not competing with you for Jager. And I never competed with you for mom’s love.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

My head flooded with past memories and my chest ached from the tears that I shed all those years ago. “You never told herthat I had snuck out of my room to watch an R-rated movie with friends, even though you knew there would be hell to pay if she found out? You never agreed with her when she said I was being selfish for breaking up the family? Or—”

“But you did do those things.”

“You could have stood up for me instead of against me.”

“I took you in, Bianca, when she told me not to. And now you’re saying that I am competing with you?”

“Why did you take me in, River?”

“Why are you asking me that?”

“Did you take me in so you could control me? Know where I was, what I was doing? Is that why you did it? All along, I thought Lisa was the one who stood by Mom’s side when you’ve been her spy this whole time.”

“Fuck you.”

“No. Fuck you, River. Am I right?”

“You are so ungrateful. I can’t believe you right now.”

“Ungrateful? Huh. Interesting choice of words. It’s exactly something mom would say.”

My hands gripped the wooden chair in front of me and I was so spitting mad thatI thought I could break it with the sheer strength of my anger.

“I think you should go. You need some time to cool off.”

“Oh, get this straight, River. You’re not kicking me out. I’m leaving on my own.”

“Yeah, you have a history of doing that.”

“I can’t believe you just said that.”

“I can’t believe half of what’s coming out of your mouth right now.”

Arrrgh!!!

I stormed out of the kitchen anddown the hallway to my bedroom. Pulling out a suitcase, I stuffed it with clothes, makeup, hair tools, anything and everything I could fit insidebecause I wasn’t planning on coming back. River had crossed a line ten years ago when he kept Jager’s note from me and pissed all over the line in that kitchen when he refused to apologize for it.

It took me less than fifteen minutes to pack most of what I owned. It was sadly not much time at all. I’d lived nearly thirty years and had so little to show for it.

I dragged the suitcase across the foyer and grabbed my winter coat from the closet. River ignored me, not bothering to turn in my direction. He sat in front of the television as though I wasn’t even there. As though this wouldn’t be the last time he’d ever see me again.

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