Page 65 of Protecting Bianca

“When I left my mother’s home, I thought everyone would hate me. And certainly, my mother and my sister Lisa did. But River didn’t. It brought us closer together. He understood me better, and I appreciated his unconditional love for me, and it meant more to me than I could have imagined. Don’t sell your brothers short. They might surprise you.”

I wondered if perhaps she was right. Will always was patient with me, and I usually turned away whenever he got too close. Maybe the next time I’d let him in.

“Come here.” I pressed her cheek to my shoulder and inhaled the scent of her. With my cheek against the top of her head, I held her and wondered what that ache in my chest meant. Ialready knew I loved her, but what would it mean if I lost her again?

I didn’t think I could go through that twice.

“B?”

“Yeah?”

“Move in with me?”

She tried to lift her head, but I didn’t want her to read my face. I wanted to know what she felt without her seeing how much it would break me if she said no.

“I couldn’t do that,” she whispered. And there it was. Heartbreak.

I steadied my voice. “Why not?”

“Because I’ve been saving up to buy my own place. It’s the reason I moved in with River. I don’t want to go from my mother’s house to my brother’s house, and now to your house. I want a place of my own.”

She raised her head, and this time, I didn’t stop her. She held my face, and I knew she saw the disappointment there. Pressing down on my molars, I pulled myself together. “Yeah, I get it. You’ve got a plan, and you shouldn’t have to change it.”

“It’s not about changing it. I don’t know how to explain it.” She pressed her forehead against mine.

The rejection fucking hurt. But seeing her in pain hurt so much more.

“Hey, you don’t have to explain. I’ll wait. Now’s not a good time.”

She inhaled, and her breath hitched as though she were covering a sob. It broke my heart into a million pieces, and I felt like the biggest asshole for making her feel like this.

“B, I love you. We’ll take it slow. Don’t cry. I don’t think I could bear it.”

She shook her head. “I’m not crying. I’m just confused. For the last few years of my life, my goal had been the same. To gainmy independence and not have to rely on anyone else but myself. Prove that I could do it on my own.”

“I get it.”

She held my face between her hands. “Do you?” She searched my eyes, and I smoothed the line between her brows.

“Yes,” I whispered.

She kissed me softly. “Thank you.”

Surrounded by her scent, her taste, and her vulnerability, I fell more in love with Bianca. She may not want to live with me, but she loved me and that’s all I needed to know.

16

Bianca

The next morning, Jager drove me to my apartment where I showered and changed before work. He had a meeting with the police and said he’d meet me at the office. I preferred that since I wasn’t ready to tell everyone about us just yet.

First, I needed to speak to River about why he kept Jager’s note a secret from me. Depending on his answer, I might be searching for a new place to live earlier than I’d anticipated.

But River wasn’t home, so I rode the bus to work.

Jager surprised me yesterday when he asked me to move in with him. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. The thought of waking up next to him every morning and cooking dinner together at night brought a smile to my face.

But it felt like a betrayal to myself to say yes, as weird as that sounded. My whole life I’d been told what I could and could not do. Even River, who I thought respected me, had taken my options away when he kept Jager’s note from me.

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