I found them just before the doorbell rang. I slipped on my heels and glanced in the mirror before answering the door.
Jager stood in a black tuxedo, fitted perfectly around his shoulders andarms, and tapered at the waist. The crisp white shirt contrasted against his tanned skin and hid the scorpion tattoo I knew he had got on his chest in the twelfth grade. He held an enormous bouquet of red roses in his hand.
“You didn’t have to get me those,” I said, taking the flowers from him. They were quite heavy, withat least three dozen stems.
“Do you still like roses?” he asked, stepping into the house.
“I do,” I smiled. “But it’s been years since anyone bought them for me. Thank you.”
I grabbed a vase from the back of a cabinet and filled it with water. After placing the flowers inside, I inhaled their scent.
“They’re beautiful.”
I turned to smile at him, but his expression was intense. He stared at me with a spark in his eyes I couldn’t read. “You look incredible,” he said softly.
I wanted to shake it off as a compliment any man would say, but something in his expression wouldn’t let me. He stepped forward and raised his hand toward me. I stared at it for a moment, but before I could even consider holding it, he dropped his arm. Straightening, he bent his elbow and smiled. “Ready to go, Bumblebee?”
He had said the full nickname this time. Emotion rushed up my chest and filled it with…happiness. Despite all the years apart, at this moment, it felt as though nothing had changed. It was just Jager and me.
“Yes, I’m ready.” I took his arm and walked out the door with him next to me.
Heat emanated from his body and gave me goosebumps. I shivered.
“You forgot your coat,” he said as soon as we got outside.
I hadn’t felt cold until he mentioned it. “Sorry. I was a little distracted. Give me a second.” I rushed back in and grabbed my long, black trench coat. “There. That’s better.”
“I’m not sure if it’s better, but at least you’re warm.”
The compliment felt like a rush to my ego. I loved knowing that he liked what he saw. It was silly, but true. I was close to thirty years old and a few words from my college boyfriend sent me into a giddy tailspin.
My smile remained for a while. It lasted until he turned into the banquet hall’s parking lot. Then, my heart sped up fora different reason and I forced myself to breathe despite the heaviness forming in my chest.
“Are you all right?”
I heard him, but I didn’t know how to answer that question.
Jager turned off the car, but neither of us made a move to leave.
“I don’t know,” I said truthfully. His leather seat moaned as he swiveled to face me. “I remember you and your mother didn’t get on well while we were dating, but you never said more than that. Does this have to do with her?”
I closed my eyes as anger boiled inside of me, but I knew it would manifest itself through tears and I didn’t want to cry over her again. I was tired of it. I wanted to talk about her and feel nothing. But I still wasn’t there yet.
“It got worse after you left,” I said. “I kept thinking time away from her would make it better, but it didn’t. She only found different ways to hurt me. I don’t know what I ever did for her to hate me so much, to call me an ungrateful daughter, when I was just a freaking teenager. My behavior was not a reflection of her, no matter how many times she said it was. Whatever I did, it wasn’t good enough. So, I left, after feeling unwelcome in my home. I found a rundown place I could afford and stressed every day, wondering how I would pay the rent with my part-time job. Some days I chose rent over food. I couldn’t hide it from my brother any longer, so he asked me to move in with him. He’s the reason I graduated from college and landed my first job. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him.”
I opened my eyes and saw his hand over mine. When did that happen? I’d never opened up like that with anyone, but I’d done it with Jager. The boy who broke my heart.
“When’s the last time you saw her?”
“I went back home for her birthday and Christmas every year for a while, but I was sick before and after each time. Ihad stomach cramps days leading to the event and the worst migraine the next day. The last time, River took me to the hospital when I couldn’t get out of bed from the pain. That was a year ago.”
“Why?”
“I foolishly thought our relationship would get better. That we would come to an understanding at one of those celebrations and have this fairytale happy ending. You know, like in sitcoms, when someone realizes how wrong they were, and they acknowledge that they hurt you. But it never happened, and I stopped expecting it.”
“No, I mean, why go to this wedding now?”
My heart beat so fast, I thought it would break through my chest. I rubbed the spot. “I hate that she has this hold on me. I hate that I can’t spend time with family without having to worry about running into her. I hate that I’ve lost out on years of happiness because I’ve been worried about how I feel when I’m around her. She has taken so much from me. She has tried to punish me by cutting me out of family parties and saying that I’m the one who wants nothing to do with her when she’s the one who’s always hated me. I left to protect myself. I just couldn’t take it anymore. But I don’t want to keep missing out on family events because of her.”