Page 108 of Bean

I laughed. “I’d rather bite yours,” I said, nipping his lip. “But I mean it. Spending my days showing you how much I love you in more than just words isn’t spoiling you. You can’t spoil a baby by holding it too much, can you?”

“I don’t know much about babies,” Bean said.

“Well, you can’t. It’s a known fact. And you also can’t spoil the person you love by ensuring they feel it every second of every day. If it ever gets to be too much, you can tell me.” I kissed his jaw. “I’ll stop the second you say so.”

“Well,” he said slowly, a little breathless. “I do kind of like it.”

I laughed against his flush-warm skin. “Me too. Because this goes both ways, my love. You make me feel seen, heard, and adored every second I’m with you.”

“And in the seconds we’re not together?”

I pulled back and stared into his eyes. “The same. I’m not afraid anymore.”

He melted against me. “Shower? I’m really, really turned on.”

I laughed and released his belt loops to grab his hands. “Come on. Let me show you exactly how you make me feel.”

The restaurant I chose was quiet. It wasn’t some pretentious, nouveau wine bar, beet foam bullshit restaurant. Though it actually was a little pretentious. It was described as elevated southern cuisine run by a couple from Tennessee that had migrated out West.

I wanted to give Bean something special, and the place had been described as soft on all the senses, which was exactly what he needed after a day of bright sun and loud laughter. He letout a sigh of relief when we took our seats by the window that overlooked the water, and he brightened when he saw the menu.

“Collard greens? Nash makes them at home, and they’re so good.”

“Hopefully, these will live up to his,” I said with a wink.

We didn’t talk much. I held his hand and ordered our drinks, and he picked the appetizer. The server took our order a little while after, and eventually, Bean broke the silence.

“You have something to say, don’t you?”

I laughed. “You’re getting good at reading me.”

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Is it bad?”

“No, sunshine. At least, I hope it’s not. I just got to thinking this week after we were both so busy, we only got one night together.”

He winced. “I know I need to make more time with you. Things just kind of…hit the fan with therapy, and my ECT treatment, and then Zayd taking time off for whatever emergency, and then?—”

“Hey,” I said softly, cutting him off. Lifting his hand to my lips, I kissed his knuckles until his shoulders weren’t so close to his ears. “I get that shit happens. It was partially me too. We had that big benefit happen last weekend, and then Ivy’s working on that group home project, which leaves me to work on the funding. It’s been a lot.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out.

“But it did make me wonder if it might not be like this forever.”

His brow furrowed. His hand reached up, nervously toying with the bear pendant he always wore around his neck. “What do you mean?”

“I know the guys are important to you. Nash made it very clear that his place will always be your place?—”

“Um,” Bean said, slightly too loud, cutting me off. “I love you. I love you,” he repeated twice. I could tell he was fumbling.

“Breathe, sweetheart. Find your words.”

He cleared his throat. “I’m not ready to leave there.”

I couldn’t stop a soft laugh. “I know that. That’s not what I meant. But it is something I wanted to talk about because I love my house. It’s important to me, but I want to know if it’s possible you and I won’t always have to live so far apart.”

He softened. “Not tomorrow.”

I laughed. “No, baby. Not even in a year if you need more time than that. But someday…” The words hovered on the tip of my tongue.

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