Page 67 of Eagle

Turning back, her eyes were wide and her cheeks were red. “Eddie–”

“No, don’t say it. I know. Not right now. I just…I need you Lacy. I know I fucked up, but I can’t fucking deal. And I know it’s my fault. but fuck!”

My body trembled as I struggled to calm down, but her hand went to my cheek. I looked at her, and her eyes filled with moisture.

Gripping her face, I swiped her tears with my thumbs. “I’m so tired of hurting you, Lacy. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not hurting right now. I’m fighting with myself. I wish I’d just talked to you before I left, Eddie. I’m sorry. But I still don’t know if I can come back here to stay. I…”

“What Lacy? You what? Tell me and I’ll do it.” I’d give her the world. I’d do anything if she’d just come home.

“For now, can you just kiss me?”

Having her where she was supposed to be, but knowing she wasn’t staying was eating me alive. Even if I couldn’t get my way, I’d still do anything she asked. So I kissed her like I may never see her again.

Chapter 31

Lacy

What a strange night. I had so much fun getting to know Jimmy, then I got a car, and went to the clubhouse. Walking inside was overwhelming. It felt so good to be there. Nothing ever felt quite so much like going home. But the voice in the back of my head was still unsure, and I was trying not to ignore that anymore. But the pull to stay was intense.

We didn’t talk much after we left his bathroom. We poured our emotions into each other with our bodies, instead. He had a hard time letting me go, but he mentioned before I left that they had some stuff happening and he may not be around all the time. He assured me he’d touch base with me as much as he could.

There had been a lot of tension since Daisy and I arrived, even after they handled Tony. Something was still up in the air. I suspected it had to do with Raven, but I only had bits and pieces. The guys had a code and that included keeping the women in the dark. Mama Hen explained it was better thatway. What we didn’t know couldn’t be used against us. I wasn’t supposed to know about Tony, but Falcon got loose-lipped with Daisy after it all happened. And, naturally, she told me.

I hadn’t slept well at all, unsure if he ended up going out once I left, or what the next few days would look like. He never really told me about runs before. He’d mention when he had to go back to Jersey, but for the local stuff, he usually just took off. I wasn’t sure if he told me because it was more serious than normal, or because he was trying to be more open with me. Either way, I was a ball of nerves.

Rolling over to grab my phone off the nightstand, I checked and saw I had messages. So much changed in such a short time. It felt like I’d been at Jeannie’s for ages now, but it had only been a week. In the blink of an eye I had a phone, a car, a backup place to stay until I sorted things out with Eagle, a job, and even friends who missed me. And I went from feeling alone to feeling cherished and desired.

Eddie, as I had him saved, texted me good morning, so I replied back. He asked if I was working today and mentioned he’d be unavailable later. I had work, then after that, who knew? I had a car. And just because he wasn’t at the clubhouse didn’t mean I couldn’t go, right? Daisy was there and Mama Hen would probably be there by then, too. Her shifts seemed to be when she wanted to work. But if your family owns your club, you probably could work when you wanted.

Plus, there were plenty of DE cuts wandering around. Mama Hen probably handled the business stuff and left the rest to the guys. What a sweet gig.

There was another text and I sat up, grinning. My old friend finally replied to me. Shiv had been my nanny when I was younger, but she wasn’t much older than me even though she seemed to be back then. Her family lived next door and I thinkMom was opposed to a real nanny that was over eighteen, since her prick of a husband seemed to have a wandering eye.

I had fired off texts to a few numbers, unsure if I was getting the digits correct. It had been so long since I spoke to her, and the phone that had her number saved was long gone when I got mixed up with Tony.

Shiv: Holy fuckballs, is that you?

Me: Is this really you? I wasn’t sure I remembered the number!

I barely hit send when my phone rang. It was the number she texted me from. “Shiv? Oh my God! I found you!”

“You mean I found you! Holy hell, I’ve been trying to find you for over a year!” she practically squealed into the phone. “Are you okay? I know you got bad off there for a while, but you at least checked in occasionally. What the fuck has been going on?”

I tried to give her the abridged version of the last year and a half.

She gasped into the phone. “Lacy! Shit! So, you’re in Georgia now? So crazy.”

“It is. But I like it here. It’s different and nobody knows me. Well, except a few people I’ve been staying with. What are you up to? I miss you,” I said as I fell to the pillow. Speaking to her took me back to the fun sleepovers we had when our parents were out all night at galas.

“Well, I finally finished school. Which sucks because now they’re trying to marry me off. I stayed a student as long as I could. But I’ve tapped out on letters behind my name.”

Shiv’s family was from Trinidad and Hindu. They were trying to encourage her to marry out of high school, but also showed support once she said she wished to first go to collegeso she could fully focus on family once she was done. She clearly dragged it out quite some time because she was thirty now.

“Hey, I texted you days ago. Why did you just reply if you’ve been looking for me?” I asked.

“I was at a conference and the signal was garbage. I saw it yesterday, but honestly, I stared at it for a while not sure if it was really you or someone maybe looking for you?” she asked more of a question than a statement.

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