Page 43 of Eagle

“Well, I currently live here, so I ain’t going anywhere. Pleaseget up.”

He gripped my hips again as leverage to stand then towered over me, his hands clutching at my waist. “I’m sorry. I’m just a fucking wreck without you.”

My heart sank as I took in his words and the tortured look on his face. “Eagle, I’m not trying to hurt you.”

“I deserve it.”

“I don’t do that, Eagle. This isn’t a game, and I wouldn’t try to hurt you just because you hurt me.”

“Tell me you’ll give me another chance, Lacy.” His voice was low and breathy.

Swallowing hard, I managed to say, “I can’t just go back to the way things were.”

He pulled me closer, my body starting to take over. It was getting harder to focus and listen. Instead, my breathing shallowed and my legs started getting weak.

“I know. I know. Just let me show you. I’m willing to do whatever it takes for however long it takes, Lacy.” His face kept dropping lower and lower as he continued. “Just please say yes.”

I didn’t mean to make a sound. But a whisper passed my lips before his mouth crashed into mine and my legs started to give out. But he grabbed me, picking me up as he kissed me hard and deep. Every emotion I wanted to feel from him was being poured into the kiss. It cut deep into my soul, so much that tears sprouted from my eyes.

He pulled away. “Lacy, why are you crying? I’m sorry, I’ll stop.” He tried to put me down but I balled his shirt in my fists. He pressed his forehead to mine. “Talk to me, Lacy.”

“I just…this is all I wanted,” I whispered before even more tears fell and my body shook.

Still holding me, he walked us to the couch and sat, situating me in his lap. He swiped the tears from my face then cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. “I told you, I’m a dumb fuck.”

A garbled laugh burst from my chest and I wiped under my eyes. “Maybe. But as much as I want to believe all of this, I can’t just forget everything.”

He nodded. “I know. And you shouldn’t. But I’m going to be better. So good you’ll eventually forget the time I was a dumb fuck.”

My palms pressed to his firm chest. “I’ve missed you, Eagle.”

Another tear rolled down my cheek and he lifted his hand, wiping the tear away with his thumb. “There’s not a word for what I’ve felt the last few days, Lacy. Broken is the closest one I can think of, but that doesn’t scratch the surface of the torment. And not just because I was missing you, but because I realized what I’d done. I drove you away because you were hurting and realizing I’d done that to you…” A muscle ticked as he clenched his jaw. His brow furrowed. After a few silent moments, he said, “I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to hold you again and it was all my fault.”

I was still torn. Most people didn’t change, especially so fast. But I’d never known him to make empty promises or false statements. He’d always done what he said, just nothing else. But something in his eyes and the tone of his words seemed so real and raw. He was saying all the things I needed to hear. He was opening up to me for the first time. And for the first time, I felt like he truly saw me.

“I’m gonna be honest, Lacy.” My heart sank. Was he not being honest before?

I started to sit up straighter, unsure what kind of turn this conversation was taking. “Okay…”

“I don’t know what’s okay to do or say, so I need you to tell me when you want me.Ifyou want me.” His dark eyes bore into me and I could swear his chin trembled. “Because I’m fucking desperate for you, but I know I don’t deserve to have you.”

It was probably a horrible idea, but in that moment, I was desperate for him too. I cupped his cheeks and tilted his up head, licking my lips. “Show me how desperate you are. Take me.” Then I slammed my lips to his.

Chapter 20

Eagle

I never thought I would experience a heart explosion, but that was the only way I could describe what was happening inside my chest. Everything seemed so awkward since I picked her up and I said and did all the wrong things. I wasn’t sure if it was too much or not enough. But every step of the way, she went along with it. She said okay to a meal, she took my hand, she listened to me begging, she let me kiss her, she let me hold her. Now she was kissing me and the whole fucking world didn’t matter–only she did.

Jeannie was at work, but I was about to fully worship this woman the way she deserved and the couch wouldn’t do. She was straddling me, so I wrapped my arms around her and stood. She was so petite I could carry her with one arm, but I wanted to cage her against me.

Once I managed to get through her door without bumping into anything and not breaking the kiss, I finally dropped her onto the bed and immediately fell to my knees, where Ibelonged in her presence.

“Eagle, come here.”

“Eddie.”

She blinked rapidly and her eyes were sparkling as fresh tears filled them. But this time she was smiling. I’d never told her that before. But this was a fresh start. And my woman deserved to know me at my roots.

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