Page 5 of Eagle

Forcing myself from the bed, I went to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. I had nothing in particular going on, but I still enjoyed playing with makeup and doing my hair. Part of the draw for stripping was getting to dress up like a showgirl and having all the attention on me. But it wasn’t so fun after I crossed paths with Tony.

Staring into my own stormy eyes, I sighed. I would still be there or dead if it weren’t for these guys. But Eagle clearly was looking to just pass the time. I was going to speak to Mama Hen today. With Daisy working at the shop and Falcon off her ass about it, there was nothing stopping me from working at the strip club.

I’d heard the whispers about Daisy being Falcon’s before heever put a patch on her, and how it was unheard of. The majority of ladies here were bunnies. It wasn’t bad, though. We got to stay, eat, party, and hug up with bikers. I’d just been lucky to have been hugged up to the same one all this time. But I wasn’t sure how much more of just being hugged up my heart could take.

Finishing my look with some gloss, I smiled and made a kissy face to myself in the mirror. I’d made it this far. If I could just get over this crush, I’d be fine. Maybe getting out and getting some sort of routine would help.

After I picked up the room and threw in a load of laundry, I headed to the kitchen hoping to find Mama Hen prepping food for later. Some of the guys went on the run but most were still here, and they had to eat.

“Hey, hon,” Mama Hen said as I stepped into the huge kitchen. It could be a professional kitchen, but I suppose with that many people living there, you needed something heavy duty.

I walked over to the island she was working at and put my arm around the older woman. She wasn’t old by any means, but since most of the bunnies were in their twenties, she seemed much wiser and beyond us. I was practically an old maid here at twenty-five. I’d never asked Mama Hen how old she was because that’s not polite, but since she was Hawk’s mom and he had to be at least late twenties if not older, I figured she was in her late forties or early fifties. She had a lot of curves, wore jeans and a t-shirt with boots most days, and her hair was short and sandy blonde. My mom was blonde too, like me, and it hid signs of grey but she insisted they were there. Mostly because of me.

Mama Hen also wore her cut every day. Her husband, Raven, had been the president of the club until he was killed. That was the catalyst that seemed to kick off things around here. I wasn’tsure when exactly it happened, but I knew it wasn’t too long before Daisy and I ended up here. That was my problem. These big guys showed up and rescued us in the most dramatic fashion then drove us here, showered us with gifts, made us feel at home, and fucked us ‘til our eyes crossed. Well, the last part was true for me. Daisy and I didn’t share every dirty detail but I was pretty sure she was taken care of in that department.

“Whatchu up to, you sweet girl?” Mama Hen asked.

“Nothing as usual. Can I help you?” Mama Hen pointed to some veggies, and I figured she wanted them cleaned and cut so I washed my hands and got to work. “Mama Hen, when can I go audition for you?”

Her brows shot up. “Well, I don’t know. I’m heading in later. Let me check the schedule and we can talk about it tomorrow. Sound good?”

“You mean after you’ve spoken to Eagle?” She was the matriarch, and they adored her, but at the end of the day, women were second here, even her. If she made a decision about one of the girls without the blessing of her man, it wouldn’t go over well.

She cleared her throat, but didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure if she was thinking of a response, or figured if she just stopped talking I’d get the hint.

“Here’s the thing,” I said with a pleasant pitch as I made my argument. “Eagle and I hang out, but he hasn’t claimed me.At all. So why does it matter if he gives his okay? If you want to check with Hawk for some presidential thumbs up, I could understand that since the club technically owns the place. But outside of that, there’s really no reason I can’t go.”

Mama Hen looked up through her lashes as she kept her head angled down at the meat she was prepping for later. “Doyou think Eagle would hang onto you so close if he didn’t feel some kind of way?”

A small chuckle escaped me. “That’s the thing. We aren’t close, we’re just fucking. Sorry!” My face heated as I realized how snarky that sounded. “I didn’t mean to sound rude. I just…I mean, I guess there’s no other way to say it but that’s all there is.”

Mama Hen smirked but said nothing. She was as bad as the men sometimes with her looks and carefully selected words. But I wish I could pick her brain. She knew them all so well. “Why? Do you think it’s something else?”

“That’s not my business, hon. Just seems odd how when he’s here you’re usually together unless the guys have business to talk about. What do you expect to happen?”

“Can I speak freely?”

“I thought you already were,” she huffed. Point taken. I said we were fucking.

I stopped for a moment and walked to the fridge to grab a diet soda for a hit of caffeine before I started. I popped the top then took a long drink. “He does all the things on paper you would want from a man, but he’s closed off. Really closed off. And we’re intimate, but not, ya know?” I walked back to where I was working on the veggies, sat the can down, and grabbed the knife, waving it as I spoke. “Like, yeah, we have hot sex, but I get the feeling he’s had hot sex with plenty of women. And it just doesn’t feel…personal. Like it’s between us. It’s just two people fucking who seem to be pretty good at it.”

She kept moving around the kitchen and started moving meat to the fridge while I chopped vegetables haphazardly. She washed her hands then walked over and gently grabbed my wrist. “Why don’t you let me do that?”

Looking down at the terrible chopping, I set the knife down and stepped aside, leaning against the counter. “I’m sorry. This shouldn’t bother me, but I guess it does. Shit.” I ran my hand down my face. “No. Please don’t take that the wrong way.” I was completely tripping over my words now. “I’m so grateful to be here. I hope you know that.”

She smiled as she stopped chopping. “Eagle is a rare man. But he’s still like the rest of these knuckleheads. You’re a pretty girl, you’re sweet, and loyal.Obviouslyloyal since you’ve stuck it out this long. Know your worth, hon, and don’t accept anything less. That’s all the advice I can give.”

Know my worth.“What if I’m not worth anything?”

Mama Hen put the knife down and turned to face me, but instead of embracing me like I expected, she slapped me. It wasn’t hard, but it was a good pop that made my cheek sting. My hand reached to cover it as my mouth hung open and my eyes bugged out. “You hit me!”

She pointed her finger in my face. “I popped you and you earned it. Don’t ever let me hear you say that again. You are worth a lot, and I won’t have you spewing this self-pity shit. You wanna be here, you straighten up and have some self-respect or everyone, including those bunnies, will walk all over you.”

I stood there a few more beats before she gently patted the hand that still covered the cheek she just whacked. Her light blue eyes glistened up at me and her face softened with a smile. “You’re one of us now, hon. And I won’t have any of my girls talking to each other that way, and that includes yourself. Now come here.” She opened her arms, and I stepped into her embrace. My ego was bruised but I knew my face wouldn’t have a mark. She basically love-tapped some sense into me.

Maybe she was right. Maybe I was worth something. Thereal question was if I was worth something to him. I knew it was childish to care, but I did. Or was it? Was it so awful to expect reciprocated feelings?

Sure, at first it was fun and games and a great way to distract myself from the hells of what I’d been through. But things changed for me. That’s how relationships go. Either they grow into something more or they don’t, and you go your separate ways. If it didn’t grow for him, I needed to know. That was fair. What wasn’t fair was for me to stick around and tough it out if he didn’t feel the same way I did. And if he didn’t feel that way, there’d be no reason I couldn’t still be around here and hang with Daisy.

---