And kisses me.
And kisses me.
I pull back.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m giving you everything, Oscar.”
“Why?”
“Because you aren’t what I thought I wanted.”
I stare at her.
“What did you think you wanted?”
And what am I not?
She reaches for me.
“I thought you’d be so much more of a dick.”
“You’ve worked with me long enough to know I’m not.”
“I’ve worked with you long enough to know that it is,” she says. “But I now know that you aren’tjusta dick.”
“I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a pep talk or not,” I say.
“It is.”
“It’s not going super well,” I whisper.
“I know, baby.”
She kisses me again, and this time, I feel a rush to my head. I let her chaos wrap around me, and I allow myself to just feel, to justbe.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I say.
“You all talk, Oscar? Is that what’s happening?”
“You’re just hurting.” She’s scared, and she’s tired, and I’m here.
And even though I want her so much, so desperately, I also want more.
I want her to actually want me, too.
Right now, I’m not convinced that she does. I know that she’s having a hard time. We both are.
And honestly, yesterday is a day where I was so mad, I could have fucked the hell out of her and not cared.
But this is Dolly.
This is the woman who has nobody else to look after her.
And right now, I want to look after her.
“I’m not just hurting,” she says. “I’m a big girl, Oscar. I can take care of myself.”