Page 57 of The Fox

“No, you didn’t. Amelia doesn’t let anyone in, do you? The last thing you’d do is let anyone know your dirty little secret, isn’t that right?” He squeezes and releases my chin before caressing my face. I yank away from him, wanting nothing more than to kill him where he stands. I train my stare at the wall behind him, hoping this ends quickly. The shame floods my body, the feelings I’d long buried bubbling to the surface. All of the work I have done to hide my ghosts is undone within a mere minute.

“Shame you are in that seat, Amelia Conte. Don’t worry, I have a feeling you won’t be there for long.” He stands, shaking his suit out before turning to the other mafia heads. “Come, let us leave and talk about actual business. Women aren’t meant for these conversations.” One by one, the men stand and begin to follow Medina, a few meeting my stare in support. There’s been a power struggle for a while now, and I know that I have a few allies in this circle. I just have to bide my time.

My demons taunt me, flashes of my body breaking flickering across my eyelids.The way the water turned pink after.I shiver, struggling to maintain composure.

Sobs wrack my body the second the door closes, and I feel strong arms wrap around my heaving shoulders. I shrug him off because I am not worthy of comfort. I know Rhodes just wants to hold me, but right now, I need to rebuild the crumbling walls around me. I have to refortify the barricades, and I need to put my armor back on. I no longer have the luxury of being simply Amelia Conte. She ceases to exists in this world.

“Amelia?” His voice is soft, the way you’d speak to a frightened animal so it doesn’t spook. I look at him out of the corner of my eye, seeing the look on his face. It is full of pity and heartbreak, which is the last thing I need. I made my decision years ago, and I live with the consequences of that every day.

I stand, straightening my suit jacket before facing him. I take a few deep breaths before speaking, forcing power into my voice.

“Let’s go home, Rhodes.”

“Kochanie. I don’t—”

“No. I am not having this conversation. Not here. I can’t have it here. Take me home, Ro.”

I gather my clutch, holding it with a death grip. I turn, walking to the door when I feel his hand slip into mine. A gentle squeeze tells me I am not alone and that he is still here.

I can’t trust it. Who would stay when they learn what I did to take the helm?

Who could love a weak woman?

CHAPTER 38

Amelia---Total Eclipse

I feel Rhodes’ eyes on the side of my face, staring at me in hopes I’ll turn my head. His hand reaches for mine, and I pull back. I cannot have him touch me while the darkness finally eclipses the sun.

I can feel the memories start to crawl along my bones, the darkness seeping into the fibers of my being, their claws sinking into my flesh.

I am failing.

I have failed.

I hear Rhodes say something, but I’m so far from the light, he’s just white noise. I bring my thumb to my lips, not caring if the lipstick painted on them smears, and I rip the flesh from my nail.

I shiver, but I’m not cold. My body is an inferno, a catalyst of emotion that I refuse to process. I feel her pulling me toward the shower, and I feel the warmth coming from the steam. Her hands meet mine and loosen my grip on the blanket. It falls, and her eyes never leave my face, her gaze unwavering, but I hear her breath catch in her throat. I lick my lips, wishing I was brave enough to look at my abused flesh. I’m not that strong. No, I am the furthest thing from the definition of strength.

Weak.

A sharp pain breaks through, and a drop of blood has begun beading on my skin. I’ve broken the brittle layer and caused myself harm. It is nothing compared to the pain my body knows.

Gods dammit. I just want—no, I need—one thing to go fucking in my favor.

I smack my palm against the slick tiles, the slap echoing in the bathroom as I hear the door open again. I feel the air change as Parker reaches in to pull me out from the water. I pull against her, wanting to stay in the heat because that is a pain I can accept. The scalding water is a hurt I will willingly endure, one I choose.

“Loves. You’re going to hurt yourself,” she murmurs.

“I can’t hurt myself any deeper than they already did.”

I was wrong that night. I close my eyes at the realization of what I am about to unleash upon the person I love. This bubble we’ve existed in has collapsed, the shadows have come to claim my soul. I lean my head against the window and try to enjoy the last moments of happiness before the fallout.

CHAPTER 39

Rhodes---Scars

The drive home is quiet, Amelia staring out the window as rain pelts against it. She’s been far too reserved since leaving the meeting and it makes me uneasy. We reach her house and she runs to the door, yanking the keys from her clutch before wrenching the door open.