Page 4 of Ricochet

It wasn’t justhisdeath that did it.

It was the sight of it. The scent of it. The feel of it in the air.

Mourning him was never even on my radar.

The only thing I’ve mourned is that I’ll never be able to see that sight again outside of memories. I’ll never be able to relive that moment. I should’ve found it nothing but morbid, but it was that and so much more.

Hauntingly beautiful.

Because of that, I’m more fucked up than ever. And that’s saying something. I haven’t spoken much since that night because I’m terrified of the truth slipping out.

Fortunately, my silence can easily be misconstrued as grief.

“I guess you don’t have much of a choice, huh?” Max scratches the back of his neck nervously. It makes me wonder if he didn’t lose a bet to be the one to come talk to me. “I’m sorry about your old man.”

“He wasn’t my old man.”

“Right.”

I don’t know why I said that. It doesn’t matter what everyone thinks. Especially because he’s not…anythinganymore.

He’snothing.

The smile that threatens to lift the corners of my mouth is a bitch to force back, but I manage.

“I’m still sorry,” Max says. “It’s gotta suck to move to a new school in the middle of the year.”

I almost laugh. If I was normal, that would be the least of my problems. But since I’m not, that’s probably the part that actually does suck the most. However, moving in with my aunt and uncle and their three kids is going to be even worse.

I never knew my mom’s side of the family well because, from what I’ve gathered, there was some bad blood there. But what I do know is they have enough going on with raising three kids of their own, all of them younger than me.

I don’t want to be a burden.

But Max was right. I don’t have much of a choice since I’m not eighteen yet. I’m surprised they even offered to take me in. I should consider myself lucky.

Another body joins Max as I start taking books out of my locker and stuffing them in my bag. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Max sling his arm over his girlfriend’s shoulders while wishing they would just go the fuck away and let me pretend to be grieving in peace.

“We’re going to miss you around here, Cal,” Paige says.

“Yeah. I’ll miss you guys too.”

Except, I don’t think I actually will. And I doubt they’ll honestly miss me either.

We’re all a bunch of liars.

Especially Paige. She was chasing me for months before she settled for Max after finally figuring out I wasn’t interested. I’ve never been interested. In anyone. Particularly in some girl who only wants to date a popular guy, too into her own image. She spent far too much time pursuing upperclassmen before going down the line of us sophomores.

“We gotta get to class.” Max clears his throat as he starts backing away, pulling Paige with him. “Keep in touch, yeah?”

I finally force my gaze in their direction and give them the kind of somber smile they would expect. “Sure.”

I won’t.

They won’t either.

We’ll all forget each other existed in a few years.

As Max and Paige walk off, I continue digging out the remnants of my locker. A calculator, some loose pages with forgotten sketches, and a few charcoal pencils sharpened down to stubs. While I’m busy clearing out every corner, I feel eyes on me.

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